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HUMOR Digest - 14 Oct 1998 to 15 Oct 1998
Date: Wed, 14 Oct 1998 04:08:36 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Columbia Maryland
Most of the homes in Columbia have kitchen sinks with 3 taps:
Hot, Cold and Perrier.
Like the rest of Howard County, Columbia residents do indeed support recycling; but where else are you likely to find all the items, placed outside to be picked-up, monogrammed.
One unfortunate Yuppie had a Japanese gardener, a German cook & an Iranian houseboy.
Last week, they got together and captured his house.
As you might expect, divorce runs rampart in Columbia. One lil' boy talked back to his Father.
The Mother said, "Don't you dare talk like that to your Father, you hardly even know the man."
Speaking of divorce (I was), Columbia lawyers charge you about $50,000 for a non-contested divorce. Some will offer a discount package deal though -- you can sign-up for three for $125,000.
Columbia is a city of greed, infidelity, power plays, finance, & self-serving individualists. It's a place where giant egos clash with major insecurities.
There's greed, infidelity, seduction and shallowness -- and that's just in the churches.
I got stranded one nite in Columbia during a severe blizzard.
I was registering at one of the plush hotels and asked the clerk what he had for about $50.
Pointing to the pen I was signing the register with, he intoned, "You're holding it, Sir."
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