HUMOR Digest - 30 Oct 1998 to 31 Oct 1998

Date: Fri, 30 Oct 1998 03:08:23 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Neighbors

Some things never change. In Baltimore Maryland, you can still find a woman in some neighborhoods who takes in laundry -- only now, they keep it.

I know I make fun of Columbia Maryland, but there's something reassuring about knowing that none of your neighbors can afford the houses they live in either.

Isn't it odd that you're never quite sure how you feel about neighbors you don't know real well until you see a "For Sale" sign go up in front of their house.

A man went to the local repair shop to pick up a chain saw he had left there to be fixed. The man behind the counter informed him that it was all ready, but it had been abused pretty bad. He suggested that it not be lent to a neighbor again.

The man smiled sheepishly and said, "Yeah, I know. I'm the neighbor."

A couple who won the lottery built quite a mansion in Howard County. Thinking to impress their neighbors, they invited some of them to a formal dinner. As the meal was concluding, wanting to avoid being labeled as "nouveau riche", the husband said, "Let's have dessert in the library."

The wife said, "We can't. It closes at seven."

One of my neighbors went out for a jog and her husband left to run an errand. When she came back from her run, she was locked out of the house. Seeing her pace up and down the yard mumbling, I went over and asked what was wrong.

She said, "Martin's gone out and locked me out of the house. You just wait til' he gets back home."

I invited her over for some iced tea while she was waiting, and she declined saying, "No thanks Jim. If I come over and get all relaxed I won't be good and mad when he gets back."

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