HUMOR Digest - 7 Nov 1998 to 8 Nov 1998

Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1998 03:03:36 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Howard County Weather

Because of the lay of the land, it gets quite windy in Glenelg.

When the old timers say it's gonna be in the 50's, they're not talking about the temperature, but the wind velocity.

While the winds here sometimes get rather gusty, they do have some side benefits.

On a lot of days, I can mow a good part of the lawn with the tractor in neutral.

While a tornado is rare in Howard County we have had a few. After the last one I called my one neighbor and asked if his barn was damaged, as the funnel cloud had touched down near there.

He replied, "Don't know Jim. Ain't found it yet."

With Fall here now I know winter isn't far behind. Studying the weather, I've come to realize that all of our cold air comes from Canada.

Speaking as an engineer, I wonder why no one has ever thought to weather-strip the damn border.

The old timers say you can predict the weather in Howard County by the thickness of the squirrels' tails. Never mind all that -- I'm really worried !!!

Yesterday I saw a squirrel burying a can of Sterno along with the acorns he'd gathered.

It was so hot in Glenelg Maryland this past summer, I liked to keep the air conditioning at a level of 72 degrees, so you could feel the coolness as soon as ya walked in the house.

Mrs JimJr claimed it was so cold in the house, every time she opened the front door, the foyer light came on.

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