HUMOR Digest - 15 Nov 1998 to 16 Nov 1998

Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1998 03:55:44 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Golf

So many people take their golf so seriously. A neighbor of mine, Babette, is a classic example. I asked her once what her score was and she said, "I'd rather tell you my age and weight."

With all the advances that have been made in the making of golf clubs, I find they've helped my game too. Now I can hit the ball into the woods further than ever.

A friend of mine, Dan, who is a true golf fanatic, is always criticizing my game. I told him once, "Dan, surely there are worse golfers than me."

He replied, "Yep ! But none of them have enuff nerve to play."

I saw my former boss not long ago -- guy loved to play golf. I asked if his game had improved since he retired.

"No Jim, it hasn't." he replied. "In fact, if anything, it's gotten worse. Now, so many guys from the State Highway who worked for me beat me all the time."

Two men, trying to start the fourth hole, are becoming more & more impatient with two women who walk into the woods, then emerge & trudge around the high grass for fifteen minutes.

Finally one of the men yelled, "For God's sake, just use another ball."

One of the women said, "We have the ball, we're looking for the club now."

The Royal Oak Golf Club is the most exclusive in Columbia Maryland. There are no minority members, nor anyone whose money doesn't go back many generations.

One day a fellow from Boston tried to get into a game. "I'll have you know my family came over before the Mayflower. I can trace my ancestry back to William the Conqueror and no one in my family has ever lifted a finger to work."

The club secretary frowned, and said, "OK, but just this one time -- and only for nine holes."

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