HUMOR Digest - 20 Nov 1998 to 21 Nov 1998

Date: Fri, 20 Nov 1998 04:11:38 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Life at MD State Highway

Personally, I think even pride in your work can be overdone. I commented to a custodian how well polished the floors in our new entrance-way were.

He beamed with pride and said, "Yes. Now most of the ladies in heels slip and some even fall."

A Chinese carry-out opened near State Highway's Headquarters. I was waiting in line with a black girl from our EEO Office (Equal Employment Opportunity Office). She commented on what good workers the Chinese were. I told her that may be true but the workers she was watching were Korean.

She waved her hand and said, "No matter. I can't tell any of these Asians apart anyway."

When the State finally got around to providing in-house e-mail, the rumor circulating was that it was being monitored. A friend of mine sent me a letter criticizing the Administrator. I wrote back telling him to be careful, as all e-mail was being monitored.

Within an hour, I received a note from the MIS Section telling me that they had neither the staff nor the inclination to monitor all of the e-mail.

I was going up the stairs and stopped at the first landing to watch a large group of people emerging from a meeting. I saw one of my favorite Nazi-fems with whom I always exchanged barbs. All I had a chance to say was, "Hey Martha." Instantly, Martha looked up and yelled, "Jimmy ! Please stop stalking me. You've simply got to get over me and get on with your life."

I slinked up the rest of the stairs feeling that at least 172 pairs of eyes were watching me disappear into my office.

I got a rather nasty note from the Personnel Office regarding yet another inane form I'd failed to fill out. The writer had labeled the subject of the memo "Second Notice".

I called her and admitted that while I had neglected to submit the form, this was the first memo I'd received on the subject.

She said, "Oh, don't worry Mr Moore, we don't really even bother sending out 'first notices' because we've found 'second notices' to be far more effective."

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