HUMOR Digest - 27 Nov 1998 to 28 Nov 1998

Date: Fri, 27 Nov 1998 03:31:06 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Life in the USA

So many products are no longer made in the US. We import so much now, from cars to TV sets. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that there are teenage delinquents who have never stolen a US product.

For the unemployed in the US there's now unemployment insurance available for only $1.50 per week. If the government does find you a job, you get a lawyer to fight it.

A street-wise city kid sez to his Mother: "Ma, the man's here to repossess the car again. Do you have the money, or should I go play in the park for an hour ?"

Long ago when kids got an allowance, they were grateful for the spending money. These days, the kids look at it as something parents pay kids to live in the same house with them.

Believe it or not, the US actually has more lawyers than doctors. Most seem to do OK too. But that's mainly because our US laws protect anyone who can afford to hire a sharp lawyer.

Never trust a jogger in the US. I mean any idiot who endures muscle cramps, swelling legs as well as lungs that feel as if they're on fire, then tells you that they jog because it makes them feel good, will probably lie about anything.

On the news the other evening, after Saddam backed-down for the 117th time, they showed the streets in Baghdad crowded with men, their arms in the air, all jumping up & down.

Mrs JimJr asked what they were doing, and I told her that was Saddam's elite guard practicing surrender maneuvers in case we did invade.

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