HUMOR Digest - 28 Nov 1998 to 29 Nov 1998

Date: Sat, 28 Nov 1998 03:57:36 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Women Shoppers

With apologies to Sinclair Lewis, when it comes to the ladies...
Christmas shopping, it's not a season but an occupation.

A shoe salesman said to a customer who'd gotten him to pull out over half the inventory, "Do you mind if I rest a moment Madam ? Your feet are killing me."

Two Yuppettes, tired from their Christmas shopping were also getting hungry for lunch. One suggested they eat at the new fast-food place in Columbia Maryland -- "Pheasant Delight".

A Yuppette worn out from the vigors of too much Christmas shopping approached the information booth at the department store and reported her child lost. She sat down with a sigh, her packages piled high around her.

Within minutes a Howard County Policeman appeared with the lost tot. Instead of a "thanks", she glared at the officer and said, "Did you HAVE to find him so fast ?"

Even in the 90's some Jewish merchants fear discrimination and name their businesses with English sounding names. At the Columbia Mall, a lil' Yuppette stopped in a new jewelry shop called "Carrington Jewelers". She asked the clerk if the owners were the Glenelg Carringtons.

The clerk replied, "No, the Glenelg Carringtons are the Ruthenburgs. This store's owned by the Glenwood Carringtons, the Shaprios."

While visiting once in South Carolina, Mrs JimJr went to the grocery store to buy ingredients to make cornbread. She approached another lady shopper and asked, "Excuse me. Could you tell me which type of buttermilk I should buy to make my cornbread ?"

The other woman looked her and replied, "I spect it don't matter much t'all what kind ya buy honey childe. With that accent y'all ain't gonna make no bread fit to eat no how."

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