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HUMOR Digest - 3 Dec 1998 to 4 Dec 1998
Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 03:50:06 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Conceit
Admin Note:
The post on Tue, 1 Dec 1998 from Paul Benoit entitled "Tobacco Settlement"
was originally from the Dave Barry column of August 10, 1997, "Blowing Smoke
in Front of a Fan"
An extra challenge to any jokester is composing humor in a subject he/she isn't familiar with. Being the intelligent, witty, sensitive, super-macho, incredibly funny guy I am though, I shall try to write some jokes about conceit:
- After she leaves for work, the mirror stays warm for hours
- He'd gain twenty pounds if he ever swallowed his pride
- She volunteered to pose for a wall at the PlayBoy Mansion
- On his birthday, he sends his parents a congratulations card
- She has the only head in town with stretch marks
- His AOL not only sez "You've Got Mail", it applauds
- Her head is so swollen it actually has a waist
- Under extreme duress, he'll admit he's only wonderful
- She may not be a Goddess, but she speaketh unto her suitors
- He's a humble man, he figures he's got a lot to be humble for
- The only way she'd ever get pregnant is if mirrors had sperm
- He never takes ego trips; figures there'd be too much baggage
- She calls the glamour magazines to see if there are messages
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