HUMOR Digest - 4 Dec 1998 to 5 Dec 1998

Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 03:04:11 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Encounters

When we first moved to Glenelg Maryland I was really quite impressed with the locals. Everywhere I went, it was "Howdy Neighbor"... that is until I walked into the local bank to cash a check, then, it was "Good Morning Stranger."

When my daughter, Sandy, was quite young we stopped by the beauty shop to pick-up Mrs JimJr. She wasn't quite ready, so we sat down and waited.

Without any warning, Sandy goes over to Mrs JimJr's stylist and blurts out, "My Daddy says you're a fairy. May I see your magic wand ?"

A lil' Yuppette was picked-up in a bar by an artist who took her to his condo to show her his paintings. The next day a friend asked her how it went.

"Not quite as I expected." the Yuppette replied. "He sold me $250 worth of his paintings."

I was interviewing college students for the State Highway to set-up and run our new CAD system. A candidate from Vassar submitted her resume, complete with an attached genealogical chart. I told her that while her ancestry was indeed quite impressive, we were interested in hiring someone to run the new CAD system, not breed.

Shopping for an upgrade, the perky lil' salesgirl seemed very intent on me trying an Apple, instead of a PC. As she extolled the virtues of the machine, I happened to glance down at her name-tag.

When I saw her name was "Eve", I beat a hasty retreat from the store. I mean ain't no way I was gonna be held responsible for starting THAT all over again.

A stuffy old dowager was explaining to the Jewish florist how she wanted the flowers arranged at the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) meeting to celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence. "Actually," she said, "one of my ancestors was present at the presentation of the document to the Congress."

"How very nice." replied the florist. "One of my mine was present at the presentation of the Ten Commandments to the world."

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