HUMOR Digest - 5 Dec 1998 to 6 Dec 1998

Date: Sat, 5 Dec 1998 04:50:19 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Scots

A lot of ethic groups are known for being tight with money. Other groups are known to drink too much. Some groups are even known for being people of few words. Only the Scots however have combined all these traits and thrown in a kilt and bagpipes for good measure.

The Scot told his wife, "Be sure now to take off your new eye glasses if you're not looking at anything."

A Scotsman's last daughter got married and the old man was just thrilled to death -- the confetti was getting dirty.

As I said, Scots are known to be frugal. But one guy was carrying things a bit too far. It seems he slept with his mother-in-law to save wear and tear on the bride.

The jet plane started to rattle. Quickly, the pilot turned northward. As soon as they crossed the border into Scotland, everything tightened up.

A Scot meets a friend at a train station and explains he's off to Glasgow on his honeymoon. His friend asks, "And just where is your wife."

"She's seen Glasgow." the groom replied.

Mr MacTavish was very sick. His wife sat at his bedside after the doctor had said no more could be done. The man said, "I don't think I'm going to make it thru the nite."

The wife replied, "I've got to finish my chores, but if you feel yourself slipping away before I return, please be sure to blow out the candle."

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