HUMOR Digest - 6 Dec 1998 to 7 Dec 1998

Date: Sun, 6 Dec 1998 04:10:34 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: These Days

These days a club exclusively for women is where you knock after you enter.

I saw an ad in the paper the other day for a battery charger.
At the bottom of the ad it said, "Batteries not included".

I worry about hospitals. How can you expect to get better in a place that calls what you had for lunch "Swiss Steak" ?

Ya know I'd feel far more confident about the US Government insuring my bank account if they weren't umpteen trillion dollars in debt.

There's talk in Washington of downsizing the Government too, the way private industry is currently doing in the US.

But before y'all cheer, understand, they're talking about closing 16 of the 50 states.

It was a messy divorce. The wife had charged adultery and paraded a dozen witness in front of the Judge. Each witness reluctantly testified in great detail. The wife was awarded a hefty amount of alimony. At the end of the trial the former husband just smiled at her.

"What are you smiling about, you idiot ? I just took you for a bundle." she stormed.

"Yeah, I guess you did." he replied, grinning wider. "But a movie producer in the courtroom offered me 10 million for the rights to the screenplay. And "The Enquirer" just bought the rights to the transcript for another five million."

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