HUMOR Digest - 8 Dec 1998 to 9 Dec 1998

Date: Tue, 8 Dec 1998 03:17:14 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Baltimore Maryland

An unemployed bus driver in Baltimore City was arrested for mugging people.

He didn't get much loot though as most people didn't have the exact change.

A pedestrian in Baltimore City asked a Policeman directions to the train station.

The cop said, "First, head down North Avenue for five blocks. Then, if ya make it that far..."

If you're driving in Baltimore City and see blank bumper stickers on cars, they're not old and faded.

It's just that the citizens don't want to get involved.

The "Baltimore Sun" reported that Baltimore Maryland has the highest syphilis rate in the US -- more than double the next ranking city.

Couple that with the high rate of teen pregnancy and I think it's about time to change the City's slogan from "The City that Reads" to "The City that Breeds".

The former Cleveland Browns football team are now the Baltimore Ravens. I've long suspected that being in Baltimore for any length of time affects anybody.

Yesterday the Ravens' kicker, Matt Stover, following yet another loss, was quoted as saying, "... it all comes down to winning games."

Overhead in the Baltimore Museum at an Egyptian exhibit:

Boy: "The sign on the Mummy sez 2328 BC. I wonder what that means."

Girl: "Silly ! That's the license number of the truck that hit him."

Faced with severe manpower shortages, the Baltimore City Fire Department began housing older engines in various Fire Houses and closed the older stations.

When asked why they didn't sell the outdated equipment, Mayor Smoke explained it was his idea to use the older engines for false alarms.

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