HUMOR Digest - 9 Dec 1998 to 10 Dec 1998

Date: Wed, 9 Dec 1998 03:06:53 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Disorder in the Court

It has been said that the truth will make you free.

Well... Unless you happen to be a criminal of course, then the court shall set you free.

Woman juror to eleven totally exasperated & tired male jurors:

"Men! I swear !!! If y'all weren't so damn stubborn, we could have all been home long ago."

In his opening statement, the District Attorney said, "This is clearly a case of a fire caused by the friction between the insurance policy and the mortgage."

I don't know how many of you have ever heard women testify in court, but most seem to feel a compelling need to explain each answer.

To remedy this, I suggest a new oath for women: "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth and stop there ?"

Lawyer: "And how far were you from the scene of the accident."

Witness: "Eight-seven point thirty-eight feet."

Lawyer: "How is it you can be so exacting with the distance."

Witness: "I went back and measured it, because I knew some damn fool lawyer would ask that very question."

Recently in Howard County Traffic Court a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Howard County Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you $ 57. Next..."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page