HUMOR Digest - 13 Dec 1998 to 14 Dec 1998

Date: Sun, 13 Dec 1998 03:11:36 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Point of View

The average man's idea of a great sermon in Church is one that goes right over his head and hits one of his neighbors.

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office, tears open two cigarettes and stuffs the tobacco up his nose.

"I can see you really need me." said the shrink.

"Sure do doc." replied the man. "Have you got a light ?"

In a chemistry class, two male students were discussing the fact that the human body is composed of approximately 92 % water. As a lovely coed entered the room, all talk ceased while they watched her walk to her seat.

Finally one of the students remarked, "Boy ! She sure did a lot with her 8 %.

Bill Gates has always been open to the suggestions of his advisors. I just heard that one of his Senior Managers had completed a two week seminar on the history and theory of ethics and was trying to convince Bill that all of their employees should be given the same course.

After mulling over the suggestion, Bill replied, "OK, but if we send everyone, who's gonna write our software ?"

The doctor explained to the patient that he had a serious condition that required immediate surgery.

The patient paled and said, "Is it very dangerous ?"

"Yes." the doctor replied "I'm afraid 4 out of 5 people never recover. But you have nothing to worry about at all."

"Why not ?" asked the patient, now sweating.

"Well, you see, you're a cinch to recover, as my last four patients died."

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