HUMOR Digest - 15 Dec 1998 to 16 Dec 1998

Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1998 03:21:43 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Las Vegas

There's lot of gambling locations all over the US, but I guess the GrandFather of them all is still Las Vegas in Nevada. Some of the casinos there require you to wear a tie, even after you lose your shirt.

Las Vegas is a wild and crazy town though. All kinds of gambling is everywhere. I parked to go get some lunch, put a quarter in the parking meter and lost my car.

Keep your eyes out for crooked dice games though. In one shady out-of-the-way casino, I was watching one game for really big stakes. I got a little suspicious when the dice started leaving skid marks on the table.

Las Vegas is also famous for its tall, shapely chorus girls. Due to the heat once, one of the girls fainted. It took six men to carry her out -- three abreast.

Not sure if it was the tension or the alcohol, but I got some bad stomach cramps. I went to a local doctor and after a brief exam he said, "I'll give ya five to one it's an ulcer."

You hear stories of people winning big at the slots in Las Vegas. Let me assure you that the only way 98% of the people are gonna beat those damn machines is with a very large hammer.

Even the busboys in Las Vegas were better dressed than I was. And if ya check around, you'll find out why too -- just last week, they were customers.

Still, all-in-all I'll probably return to Las Vegas some day. I was lucky actually. I understand half the population are former tourists who couldn't afford to leave.

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