HUMOR Digest - 18 Dec 1998 to 19 Dec 1998

Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1998 03:33:53 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: College

The law professor was addressing his students: "In a courtroom it takes twelve men to determine that a woman is innocent. On a country lane, it only takes one."

During a lecture on impromptu speaking the professor told his students, "The man who rises to the occasion should also know when to sit down."

The wife was crying as her daughter went off to college. Her husband consoled her, "Don't think of it as losing a daughter. Think of it as gaining both a telephone and a bathroom."

Arriving at his residence the professor told his housekeeper, "Sarah, I've invited three of my students to dinner tonite at 6:30, but I think I'll give them a half-hour's grace."

"Professor, I'm as religious as the next person." Sarah said shaking her head, "But I think you're over-doing it."

As he addressed his new students, the professor said: "...And this class shall start at the stroke of 9:00."

From the back of the Lecture Hall came: "The first stroke, or the last stroke, Sir ?"

"Boss," said the foreman, "the men are leery of that college kid you hired to help out during the summer."

"Listen Fred..." replied the boss, "in another year that guy will be making more as an accountant than either of us."

"Maybe." replied the foreman. "But he's spooking all the men. Yesterday he stubbed his toe on a pallet of bricks and said, 'Oh !!! Curse the intransigency of inanimate objects'."

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