HUMOR Digest - 23 Dec 1998 to 24 Dec 1998

Date: Wed, 23 Dec 1998 03:44:14 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Religion

On Christmas afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy ! Am I ever tried."

Her husband looked over at her & said, "I had to conduct two special services last nite, three today, & give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired ?"

"Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them."

Although I've been a Lutheran all my life, ideas and concepts are continually evolving within the Church. Several years ago, it was determined to call the worshipers "Saints". Personally, I found this term disturbing and discussed it with my Pastor.

He said, "Don't forget Jim, the greater the sinner, the greater the Saint."

I couldn't help thinking, "Damn ! Now he tells me."

At a non-denominational Church in Columbia Maryland a Yuppette in charge of education asked, "Has anyone seen Maynard ?"

Another Yuppette answered, "Haven't you heard ? He absconded with all of his company's funds and left town with his secretary."

"Oh my good Heavens." the first Yuppette moaned. "Whomever am I going to get to teach his Sunday School class this morning ?"

As she was exiting the Church, a woman saw a friend of hers approaching, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Why are you so happy Gail; shouldn't you be remorseful preparing for confession ?"

"Yeah. I know." Gail responded, grinning even wider. "But I just can't help it. BOY ! Do I ever have a sin to hit the Father with today !!!"

An astronomer had been an agnostic all of his adult life. A good friend who happened to be a minister was always after him to at least acknowledge God's existence.

"You place entirely too much emphasis on man and his limited achievements." said the minister. "We are but an infinitesimal speck in God's universe."

"Ahhhh..." countered the astronomer, "but if it weren't for me, you'd have no knowledge that the Earth was but a small dot."

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