HUMOR Digest - 2 Jan 1999 to 3 Jan 1999

Date: Sat, 2 Jan 1999 03:02:15 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Assorted Quickies
 

* The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast

* Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work

* Mrs JimJr lives great on my income; now I need one of my own

* If you're "not yourself today", enjoy it while ya can

* Maybe he/she doesn't "act stupid"; it might be the real thing

* If Clinton's tongue were notarized, I'd still think he's lying

* If life isn't worth living, what else can you do with it ?

* Some people not only have bad luck... they're carriers

* If a man's "Captain of his ship", his wife's likely the Admiral

* Give some women an inch, and they'll rearrange or redecorate it

* There's still "incurable romantics" -- we need better antibiotics

* What this country needs is products that outlast the wrappings

* Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation raps for years

* Ever notice how ignorance picks-up confidence as it goes along

* A billion's the current number of foods made with types of bran

* Teamwork is as easy as freckles getting together to make a tan

* Those who use body language need to improve their vocabularies

* These days, an "underprivileged kid" only has one set of parents

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