HUMOR Digest - 14 Jan 1999 to 15 Jan 1999

Date: Thu, 14 Jan 1999 03:48:10 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Twisted Logic

Talk about terrible dilemmas. Pity the poor Jewish Mother whose son was gay and dating a doctor.

I knew a fellow at work who was the most jealous man I've ever seen. His wife gave birth to twins, and he swore that only one of them looked like him.

Did you hear about the General who retired and got a job with the Panasonic printer company. He quit rather quickly when he discovered they had more ribbons than he did.

The Maryland State Highway often conducts interviews for a promotion using a panel. Once during such an interview one of the panelists said to me, "Mr Moore, I see you're 35. If you are given this promotion to Assistant District Engineer, what would you expect to be in five years."

"Forty." I replied.

Speaking of State Highway (I was), a co-worker, Jim Keseling, was a big bug on physical fitness. He was always on my case about my smoking. In the middle of one of his "lectures" I asked him if he smoked and he replied, "Certainly not."

I paused and looked at his pot belly, the wrinkles on his face, and then his bald head and said, "I think I'll keep on smoking for the time being."

A social worker was interviewing prisoners to gauge the effect of violence seen on TV carrying over to real life. One prisoner explained that he was only allowed to watch TV during the day, then locked in his cell at nite because of his misconduct.

"Well..." said the social worker, "while you are missing the best shows, at least it's nice that you can see daytime TV."

"Nice ?!?!?" the prisoner exclaimed. "Lady, that's part of the damn punishment.

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