HUMOR Digest - 15 Jan 1999 to 16 Jan 1999

Date: Fri, 15 Jan 1999 04:29:41 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Outlook

Did y'all ever hear a pessimist count his/her blessings...
"Five... Four... Three... Two..."

Personally, I think one of the saddest facts of life is that pessimists have much more experience than optimists.

Any of you who think nothing is impossible, try setting your e-mail program's filter so you don't receive any Spam mail.

Blessed are the poor. The more things you have, the more you have to wash/dust/vacuum/polish/maintain/repair/insure/guard.

Pity the poor Yuppies. Most whom I've encountered have a very low level of pain tolerance. I understand all of the barber shops in Columbia Maryland offer Novocain for their customers.

There's a benefit to the parking problem in Baltimore Maryland. Older people who are forced to squeeze their full-sized cars into tiny parking spaces are sexually satisfied for a week.

There were two different kinds of people who stayed-up this past New Year's Eve to see the New Year in.

Those with hope in their hearts welcomed the New Year; the grumps stayed-up to make sure the old one really left.

I'm sure y'all have heard the old truism that "A pessimist thinks the glass half-empty, while the optimist considers it to be half-full".

I'd like to add a footnote: "A realist knows he'll have to wash the damn glass soon."

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