HUMOR Digest - 18 Jan 1999 to 19 Jan 1999

Date: Mon, 18 Jan 1999 05:19:57 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Cockamamie Connubiality

The alert husband should always keep an eye out for little signs that he's irritated his wife somehow and she's upset; like when she vacuums up his stamp collection, for example.

Did y'all hear about the fella who dressed his wife in all leather, took her to the airport and asked her to check in the luggage ? He hasn't seen her since.

A friend of mine solved the problem of his wife exchanging all of the presents he gives her. He buys very expensive clothing in "petite" sizes.

She still takes them back to exchange them, but he scores a lotta points.

The couple celebrated their 30th anniversary with a safari in the jungle. As the wife was exploring, a lion jumped out of the brush and began stalking her. "Shoot Henry, shoot !" she screamed.

"I can't !" he replied. "I'm all out of film."

The aging couple sat silent at the breakfast table, while the husband was reading the paper. His wife said, "Tom, have you ever thought how you'd look with a moustache ?"

"Terry !" the husband fumed. "Why do you insist that we always do everything together ?"

I was having a few drinks with a co-worker who seemed in an overly jovial mood. "What's up George ?" I asked, "You seem so upbeat today."

"My best friend ran off with my wife last nite." he said.

"George !" I replied, "I thought I was your best friend."

"Not anymore Jimmy." he said, grinning from ear-to-ear. "Not anymore."

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