HUMOR Digest - 21 Jan 1999 to 22 Jan 1999

Date: Thu, 21 Jan 1999 04:57:36 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: These Days

Hospitals are cutting costs, but personally I think some have gone overboard.
A hospital in Baltimore Maryland just installed coin operated oxygen for the patients.

The old expression "Born with a silver spoon in his mouth" still holds true.
Of course, in the case of the Columbia Yuppies, naturally, the spoon is monogrammed.

Speaking of Columbia (I was) a Yuppette I know just got married. Her parents weren't sure what to give the couple for a present, so they promised to pay for the divorce.

Men still try to convince their wives that golfing is good exercise and that's why they go so much.
I can see that -- all that climbing in & out of the cart uses a lot of energy.

Even the Mafia has changed. One family in New York has a gay Don.

The "Kiss of Death" is still the same, but now he includes champagne, dinner and dancing along with it.

Ya gotta get up early to beat the gambling casinos though.

A guy in Atlantic City won a bundle playing with phony dice. They paid him off in counterfeit twenty dollar bills.

A garment manufacturer was granted an audience with the Pope.

Upon his return to New York, a fellow businessman asked him what the Pope was like. "Oh, I'd say a 38 long." he replied.

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