HUMOR Digest - 8 Feb 1999 to 9 Feb 1999

Date: Mon, 8 Feb 1999 04:27:59 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Clintons

Hillary's always concerned about "losing face".
She shouldn't be though -- it would be a decided improvement.

Did y'all hear that the Clintons paid $350,000 to have their family tree checked:
$ 3,000 for the genealogical research and $ 347,000 to hush it up.

Contrary to popular belief, it's said that Hillary is really a big hearted woman.

I don't have any trouble believing that, I mean she's got the head, mouth, hips and legs to match.

Believe it or not, modesty runs deep in the Clinton family.

Only problem is, Bill & Hillary's idea of modesty is waiting for others to discover how really great they are.

Senator Strom Thurmond was heard to remark that this whole Clinton affair was nothing but a pain in the neck.

Senator Lott commented that actually he had a much lower opinion of the Clintons.

Only a few people know President Clinton was actually given a lie detector test at the start of the Monica scandal.

His lawyers gave up though when he couldn't get past his opening remark: "In my humble opinion..."

The current issue of "People Magazine" says that Chelsea, the Clinton's daughter, suffered a collapse after breaking-up with her boyfriend Matthew Pierce.

In another article, the magazine said that a Private Matthew Pierce is being assigned to the ground keeping forces in Kosovo for the next five years.

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