HUMOR Digest - 25 Feb 1999 to 26 Feb 1999

Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 03:37:37 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Insects

If you think the mosquitoes in your area are bad, pity the poor folks in Dallas Texas. Every time a mosquito lands at the DFW Airport, they have to fill it with 50 gallons of fuel.

And speaking of Texas mosquitoes (I was), take it from me -- they're tuff as nails. If you dare to swat a mosquito in Abilene Texas, they swat ya right back !

There's even talk of eliminating the nite-time commuter flites in those puddle jumper planes they use down there. There's been too many near midair collisions with the mosquitoes.

The southern states in the US are sometimes called the "Bible Belt" based on a goodly number of religious folk. The moths in the South even give up woollens for lint.

Then there was the Mother moth who admonished her offspring, "If you don't eat all of your cotton young man, there'll be absolutely no satin for you for dessert."

Two mosquitoes began buzzing around a drunk who came staggering out of a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You bite him. I've got to fly home yet."

Did ya ever wonder if a Mother centipede plays "This Little Piggy" with her kids. And worse, imagine being the Vet who tries to treat a centipede when its feet hurt.

Noah is portrayed in the Bible as a hero who saved the animals. OK, I can accept that, but how come he didn't leave behind the damn ants, flies, mosquitoes, gnats, termites, fleas, weevils...

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