HUMOR Digest - 3 Mar 1999 to 4 Mar 1999

Date: Wed, 3 Mar 1999 03:42:28 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Shape She's In...

* One stroke of her lipstick brought out her lips...
   One good sneeze however brought out her teeth

* She claimed to have an eighteen inch waist...
   Through the middle maybe

* She only had one tooth in her mouth...
   When she gave ya a hickey, it had a hole in the center

* I'm not saying she was bow-legged...
   But they hung her over the back door for good luck

* She had an unimpeachable figure...
   No appeal at all !!!

* Then there was the Yuppette who was a tad overweight...
   She had an unlisted dress size

* I'm not saying she's too thin...
   She once got a run in her pantyhose and fell out of them

* She has some many chins...
   It looks like she's peeking over a stack of pancakes

* She admits to having a boyish figure...
   and that's straight from the shoulder

* She's the picture of health...
   Unfortunately, the frame isn't

* She's so thin, when asked to turn sideways...
   She just turns her head

* She doesn't know why she's overweight, being a light eater...
   Yeah ! As soon as it gets light, she starts eating

* She's still an old maid at 75...
   Always walked the straight and marrow

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