HUMOR Digest - 14 Mar 1999 to 15 Mar 1999

Date: Sun, 14 Mar 1999 03:10:18 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Golf

There's a rich resource available in our HumorList Archives. In addition to the current 1999 Digests, copies are available of 1996-1998 mailings. The URL's are listed daily in my posts.

            Date: Tue, 21 Mar 1995 23:37:00 PST
            From: Jack Kolb [IKW4GWI@MVS.OAC.UCLA.EDU]
            Subject: more golf

A father spoke to his son, "It's time we had a little talk, my son. Soon, you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound & your hands will sweat. You'll be preoccupied and won't be able to think of anything else."

He added, "But don't worry, it's perfectly normal... it's called golf."

                                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dennis, how come you're using two caddies today?"

"My wife tells me that I don't spend enough time with my kids."

                                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A golfer well into his golden years had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a spit of land that juts out off the coast.

It was something he had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball always fell short, into the water. Because of this he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick.

Recently he went to Pebble Beach to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old cut ball and said a silent prayer.

Before he hit it however, a powerful voice from above said, "WAIT... REPLACE THAT OLD BALL WITH A BRAND-NEW BALL."

He complied, with some slight misgiving, despite the fact that the Lord seemed to be implying that He was going to let him finally achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again, "WAIT... STEP BACK... TAKE A PRACTICE SWING." So he stepped back and took a practice swing.

The voice boomed out again, "TAKE ANOTHER PRACTICE SWING." He did. Silence followed.

Then the voice spoke out again. "PUT BACK THE OLD BALL."

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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          (zip)  http://www.oocities.org/BourbonStreet/6293

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