HUMOR Digest - 2 Apr 1999 to 3 Apr 1999

Date: Fri, 2 Apr 1999 05:01:04 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Yuppie Encounters

It's easy to estimate your bill at any of the Yuppie hotels in Columbia Maryland. Just think of the highest amount you can possibly imagine, then add 35 per cent.

Arriving at an upscale hotel in Columbia, the traveler said to the desk clerk, "I'll have the hundred dollar suite my good man."

The clerk reached under the counter and handed the man a large candy bar.

At the same hotel, one guest was telling another that he was astonished to find a seven-piece orchestra in the men's room.

"Exactly." replied his fellow guest. "I should think a pianist and a violinist would be more than sufficient."

I seldom donate to door-to-door solicitors, choosing instead voluntary payroll deductions to a central charity. Rather than explain all this, I try to discourage the collectors.

One evening a Yuppette knocked on my door and said, "Hello, I'm Myra from Meals on Wheels."

I replied, "Great !!! You got here just in time. I'm hungry as hell."

My neighbor, Babette, delights in Yuppie bashing as much as I do. At a party in Columbia Maryland recently, one Yuppette was holding court about the "Upstart Westerners" (those of us who live in the western portion of Howard County).

When the Yuppette noticed Babette intently listening, she stopped in mid-sentence.

Babette smiling graciously said, "That's OK darlin' rave-on. After all, you only have eight more lives to live."

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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