HUMOR Digest - 29 Apr 1999 to 30 Apr 1999

Date: Thu, 29 Apr 1999 03:29:04 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Moores

I'm not saying Mrs JimJr is a bad driver, but whenever she tells me that she "ran into... (this person or that one)" at the Mall, I always wait apprehensibly for her to finish her story to see if she meant figuratively speaking or literally.

With the warmer weather in Maryland, semi-professional girl watchers like me can finally enjoy enhanced views of the female form after a winter of coats, sweaters, scarves, etc.

Skimpy outfits are a special treat for men of my generation; especially since Mrs JimJr wears more than that to bed.

All Parents/GrandParents have special memories of "one-liners" unintentionally spoken by their little ones.

One of my favorites was the time my one GrandSon, JimJr JrJr, took an interest in the moon when he was about 2-3 years of age.

Following several nights of a full winter moon, he looked to the sky and saw only a sliver. He then said to my son (JimJr Jr), "Daddy ! The Moon's broken !!!"

During a get-together at my son's house, he had prepared quite a feast. In spite of the extra pounds I'd gained this winter, I forged ahead and loaded my plate.

"Dad !" he said, eyeing my repast, "I thought you were on a diet."

"I am Jim !" I replied, "But I need all of this to give me the strength to go on."

Being an avid lawn nut, I refuse to permit weeds in my lawn of Kentucky BlueGrass and use herbicides each week.

A party guest was walking the western property line with my daughter Sandy. Seeing a sea of clover on my neighbor's lawn, she noticed it came-up to my lawn and stopped. She asked my daughter why the clover didn't cross-over onto my lawn.

My daughter furrowed her brow, looked at the guest evenly and replied, "It wouldn't dare !"

Indexed UGA Humor Digests 1996-1999:
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