Late shift is the pits. I really hate working late in the day. When I get off work there is nothing to do except go home and watch Letterman.

When I would come in at night I would see my friend Gerry getting ready to go home. We’d shoot the shit talking about things we think are interesting. Gerry looks just like Bill Nye the Science Guy..It took me a while to get use to talking to him while the theme from Bill Nye the Science Guy ran through my head. I’m almost over it now.

“Hey Gerry....guess who’s nailin’ Marline Zener!!’

{Who? No don’t tell me...It’ll ruin my impression of her}

“Jordan Lutheran...... Petula’s husband!!! “

Gerry kinda of doubted me . Petula was not an unattractive woman. At least till you got to know her. Her borderline looks were ruined by her overbearing personality that was seasoned with her religious contradictions. Jordan had been with her for years. He was no looker either. He was in good physical shape... but slightly balding. Marline was nice looking.Very nice looking. She use to be a bartender, so she knew all the right things to say.She was always standing as if she was trying to touch her elbows to her back just to get the little fella to try and take a peek at her through a waistband.

It didn’t work with me..Experience taught me even if the package is nicely gift wrapped it can still be filled with bullshit..but if I was single I wouldn’t turn down having breakfast with her.

{No way. Where did you get that information from, you’re full of shit. Really...where did you hear that?}

“Jordan told me and the details too.”

{Details?.Stop. Why would he tell you? He’s married and all three work here. His wife got him this job. No way I don’t believe it.}

Gerry thinks if you’re married you wouldn’t cheat. I pointed out people do it all the time and mentioned some examples we both knew about at work.

“He asked me to cover for him. He’s been going at with Marline for weeks. His wife thinks me and him are the best friends in the whole world”

{Why would he ask you to cover for him?}

“We know each from renovation work.Several years now. We would occasionally see each other at different jobs. He trusts me.”

{What type of details?}

I told him how Marline likes to use her body as an amusement park and how Jordan said when he woke up his face felt like a glazed donut. I went through all the details Jordan told me and spruced up some that he didn’t tell me. Gerry was mesmerized. He couldn’t believe it and was concerned about his buddy Rob.

{Rob is gonna die. All he ever talks about is her and the things she says to him. She looked at him and said she would do anything and emphasized anything for him. He was in heaven for days. I don’t know how many times he told me that.}

“What are you so worried about Rob. He’s a big boy... besides isn’t he dating Linda? She’s way better looking than Marline. Way better.”

{I have to go now, I’ll call you tomorrow.} With that Gerry left and I sat down at my phone position. The phones are set up in this hexagon shape. If you looked from the top it would look like an asterisk. Between each pair of legs a computer and a phone. There were 150 of these phone pods in the 8000 square foot office with no windows and a piss poor ventilation system.

I sat down across from my friend Wendie. We liked to talk with each other between calls. Wendie is a large shapely women who’s clothes are so tight they look they were vacuum packed onto her. She’s a sweet lady with a chemical dependecy on alcohol. Her personality would go from being sweet to psycho in a microsecond.Many times this would last for days with changes in her personality as often as the frequency of a cheap Ham radio. She reminded me of an ex I had because of that.. We were friends now for close to a year but her inability to control her temper was severely affecting our friendship.

This was one of the days where she was feeling guilty for blowing up at me the day before. I turned around to say hello. When I did Wendie was exposing her tits to me. They were quite attractive. Milky white and I could feel the soft silky texture with my eyes. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind from mountain climbing to snowboarding down the valley.

[Put your eyes back in your head.] Wendie was smiling as she put her breasts back in her blouse.[ Do you have plans tomorrow? I’m going to the mall to pick up Larry a birthday present.]

“ What time?”

[Eleven thirty.]

“O.K.” With that our plans were set. I don’t know why she even bothers with Larry. He’s married and screws anything that would be with him. He’s a walking dirtbag. Wendie would ask me what I thought about him and I would always lie. I would tell her what she wanted to hear. Never once did I criticize the guy. Even though I knew he treated her as a masturbation receptacle. I liked Wendie and knew if I shined a light on this guy for the way he is, it would hurt her and end our friendship.

The next phone call I took was from a women who wanted to go from here to there. Stupid, dumb and without a clue. I asked her where are you?

~In my kitchen~ She replied

“I mean what city are you in?” I almost pissed my pants when she said that. It was funny, even though it was stupid. I should relly be more specific.

~We don’t have an airport here~

“Ohhh K., Which airport did you want to leave from?”

~Tampa~

Now we’re getting someplace. After the awkwardness went away I was able to set up flight arrangements for this lady. My first sale of the day. I turned around to Wendie and told her.” I got my first one.”

[Ewe, you go boy.] With a wink of an eye and a flash of a smile Wendie let me know she was happy for me. [ I have six already, I’ve been here for forty minutes.]

“Hey that is... you know er "Great!!!!” Six tickets. I barely get that in a day. A little jealousy was creeping up on me. I bust my ass trying to sell tickets using Your Friendly Airline’s tactics and can’t sell water to a thirsty man in the desert.

I decided to change pods. I gathered up my stuff and started to look around. I saw this new girl sitting in an area with no one else around. I decided to sit next to her. She was fine looking. She just oozed sex appeal. Built like a goddess and the face of an angel. Maybe I could engage her in small talk between calls. As I approached the air was acidic and reeked of death. No wonder nobody was sitting by her. She was farting up a storm. I retreated back to my original pod.

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