Are *YOU* Kinks Obsessed?
I know I am, and I know Sp-em is. We're madly obsessed with The Kinks. And in fact, I'm going to write down a few symptoms to help you diagnose yourself with Kinkitis, as this syndrome is more commonly known. Here goes.
1. You're a member of The Village Green Preservation Society.
2. You aren't scared of Dave's croaky voice, unlike my sister...
3. You want to have Peter Quaife's children. WHAT?!
4. You rememeber Walter.
5. Your name is Lola.
6. You want to be a red jumper. Yeah, yeah, or a white jacket and black t-shirt.
7. Or the Queen of Clubs. Ahem... Yes, Sp-em, or the Queen of Hearts.
8. Wicked Annabella is your next door neighbour.
9. You often laze on a Sunny Afternoon.
10. You want to marry Ray just because he's Ray.
11. You sign your name as either Mrs Quaife, Mrs Davies or Mrs Avory.
12. Sometimes, when you can't decide, you sign your name as Mrs Quavories...
13. You know who Plastic Man really is.
14. You often jump around shouting "GOD BLESS JOHNNY!" even though you don't even KNOW anyone named John.
15. You don't just want a pet cat. You want a phenomenal cat.
16. You take pictures of the summer.
17. You suddenly realise the shocking connection between the OHOYH's dad and Dave Davies and wish that the aforementioned OHOYH was there so you could tell her.
18. You start the morning by kissing your Kinks pictures. *whistles innocently*
19. You start writing words like Controversy and Chronicles as Kontroversy and Kronikles.
20. You think it's amazing that ALL FOUR members of The Monkees have the same names as three members of The Kinks. (Dave, Peter, Mick - Davy, Peter, Micky, Mike! Shocking...)
21. You watch the Keith Moon - Behind The Music all the time just for the little bit Ray Davies says about his drumming.
22. Whenever anyone says they're tired of waiting for something you can't help but start singing...
23. You want a party line even though they no longer exist since BT realised what a crap idea they were.
24. You weekly (on a Sunday) partake in a joint of bread and honey.
25. You write strange fanfic about The Kinks and vampires.
26. You know why I've nicknamed Peter Quaife "Greenie".
27. You saw Uncle John with Long Tall Sally.
28. You sit at your computer and compile symptoms for Kinkitis.
29. When you write the letter K you always draw a little pair of feet at the bottom.
30. You do the best things so conservatively.
31. You wish you could be like David Watts.
32. You're jealous of your sister, but then you realized that you were better off than the wayward lass that your sister had been, so you run round the house, with your curlers on, no longer jealous of your sister!
33. You always take Afternoon Tea, and you use milk if you like.
34. You run down a street where there's a record company building and you shout, "Powerman, Powerman, I'll never be your slave!"
35. You love to sit down and watch the Moneygoround. ("Take a little bit here and a little bit there...")
36. You go down to Old Soho to drink champagne that tastes like Coca-Cola (or cherry cola, depending on if you're a single or an album...)
37. You drink that champagne and dance all night, under electric candlelight.
38. You want to sail away to a distant shore and be like an Apeman. (La la la la la lala...)
39. You suddenly realize that the ENTIRE REASON that Dave Davies *is* so gorgeous is that he's out to murder you. (Applies to Sp-em only.)
40. You say to your sister, "Come dancing, c'mon sister have yourself a ball! Don't be afraid to come dancing, it's only natural!"
42. As long as you gaze up Waterloo Sunset you are in paradise.
43. You know Terry and Julie. Wait! You ARE Terry or Julie!
44. You want to eat bananas like an Apeman.
45. They seek you here, they seek you there.
46. You beg people to tell you where all the good times have gone.
47. Queen Victoria is your favourite English monarch.
48. You're a schoolboy in disgrace. Or even a schoolgirl in disgrace.
49. You never change because Ray would be sad cos he wanted you just as you are.
50. Nothin' in the world can stop you worryin' 'bout that girl.
52. You're a tin soldier man, living in a little tin wonderland.
53. Your clothes are loud, but never square.
54. You wonder, "This time tomorrow, where will we be?"
55. You say Dave Davies sings like a screeching howler monkey and mean it as a compliment.
56. You yell at your sister when she says Dave Davies sings like a screeching howler monkey, even if it IS meant as a compliment.
57. You really, really, REALLY care very deeply about making Mick move. So much, in fact, that you have begun a campaign about it.
58. You walk around telling people:
59. You feel totally honoured that the Kinks said, "You are our friends for playing the record," on the inside CD booklet thing for The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society.
60. You feel the burning need to own every Kinks video, record, picture, etc., in the whole entire world and then display your collection to everyone else in the whole entire world.
61. You just got to be free, got to be free now.
62. You're a long way from home.
63. Every time you see someone you don't know walking down the street with you, you sing, "Strangers on this road we are on... we are not two, we are one!"
64. Your love of life makes you weak at your knees.
65. You ask people to help you, help you, help you sail away, and give you two good reasons why you ought to stay.
a. I are Michael Charles Avory--Drummer;
b. I be Peter Alexander Greenlaw Quaife--Bass Player;
c. I is David Russell Gordon Davies--Guitarist and Singer;
or
d. I am Raymond Douglas Davies--Guitarist, Keyboard Player, and Singer.
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