1/24/96, afternoon

What is the story of the world? PK Dick says it is the story of the death of a girl. That is true, though it takes some meditation to understand. The Church, in her mystical teachings, tells us it is the story of Christ, and the story of the creation, fall, and redemption of the world. These are true, too. What is the story of the world? I'll tell you.

The story of the world is the story of a girl. It is the tragic story of her loss of innocence. She "dies" when she loses her virginity, and becomes base, common, vulgar. It is also, though, the story of her redemption, or so my faith teaches. Having lost her physical innocence, she somehow discovers her spiritual innocence, or has this implanted in her by the Christ. She has no merit, she cannot earn this redemption, but she can be given it by the Christ.

I understand the fall. I can see all around me reflections of the fall of this girl, here in the world where the cosmic is reflected into some perverse morality play. I do not understand the redemption. I understand the what, and I have intellectual faith, but I do not understand the how. I have no emotional faith. This is, perhaps, why my world is so dark. I can see the girls fall, but I cannot see them rise again.

One must see the fall before one can see the Incarnation. Those who are happy in their ignorance cannot be said to understand redemption better than I. But having seen the fall, I am in misery until I greet Him when He comes again, to judge the living and the dead. Maranatha!