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Dog Haiku
Explanatory note: Although the following do not
conform strictly to the rules of Haiku, some artistic license
may be allowed because, after all, dogs can't count.
- I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
-
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.
-
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.
-
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
-
I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
-
I sound the alarm!
Meter reader-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
-
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
-
I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat-come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
-
I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep.
-
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
-
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
-
I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
-
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats.
-
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.
-
The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.
-
Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
-
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
-
You may call them fleas,
But they are far more -I call
Them a vocation.
-
My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.
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