Harassment Park

A few years back, a group of venture socialists figured out how to re-create political dinosaurs from fragments of RNC rhetoric, spliced together with DNC machinations. Their coalition, called SpinGen, was set up for the re-creation and promotion of an extinct predator found embraced with Amber (and Susan, and Genifer, and Barbra, and Kelly, and DeeDee, and Ellen. . . .).

This pathological prevaricator was groomed in the primordial state of Arkansas before being installed in a four-year park exhibit. But the predator's containment system broke down shortly before the opening. The allegations got free, the files had to be destroyed, and the account was expunged from the public press.

In the aftermath, everyone involved moved quickly to quash the story. The predator wanted to limit, or at least delay, his liability. The Arkansas government wanted to preserve its reputation as a redneck paradise. And the attorneys who had been hired as investigators on the project were bound by nondisclosure agreements to remain silent.

But as a resentful Hillary Clinton is about to find out, Something Has Survived the secret disasters at Harassment Park. . . .

THE LUST WORLD, Harassment Park

Guide to Major Lust World Species

Ankelosaurus [ANG-kel-oh-SORE-us]

Order of the Reginosaurus, suborder Femminazicus. Prominent during the early Clintozoic Era, rarely seen later. A voracious, parasitic politisaur with thick ankles and a double layer of cellulite along torso and limbs, which contributed to heavy, slow moving characteristics. Lived in a highly-evolved social order referred to by paleontologists as a 'village.'

Length: Less than 2 meters

Weight: Up to 2 tons

Diet: Omnivore, but prefers human fetusites

Era: Clintozoic Era, PMS Periods

Baby Ankelosaurus

It took 20 years and a 'village' for a baby ankelosaurus to grow to an adult. The only verifiable specimen is 17 years old.

Length: 1/2 meter at birth

Diet: Acnegenic plants and fluids

Era: Clintozoic Era, pre-dated Harassment Period, antedated Incarceration Period.

Diceranewts [die-SERRA-newts]

Order of the Republisaura, suborder of Gopacischia. A stout meat-eater, falsely known as the two-horned face. The influence of the 'newt was a critical factor in the loss of Composeverisaurus' loss of dominance. Could move at very high speed, much like a rhinoceros. Despite its looks, it was a quiet and gentle animal that roamed North America.

Length: Up to 2 meters

Weight: Up to 11 tons.

Diet: Omnivore

Era: Clintozoic Era, early and late Creepaceous Periods

Composeverisaurus (KOM-poze-VER-i-SORE-us)

Order of the Prevericatosaur. Very lizard-like, they were one of the smallest characters among dinosaurs. They were no bigger than the hen that pecked them; known for eating their own species. The most salient feature was a hammer-and-sickle-like distinguishing characteristic.

Length: Up to 2 meters

Diet: Carnivore

Era: Clintozoic Era, late Harassment Period

Pachylysosaurus [PAK-uh-LIES-oh-SORE-us]

Order of the Algorischian, suborder of Arborisaurus. Known for their thick bone of the upper skull used in social interactions, territorial expansionism and defense. Plant-eating, trunk-bodied, ornithocephalic; not known for intelligence. Ornithocephaly is suspected to have been caused by males' use their heads as a crash helmets while fighting with other species.

Length: Up to 2 meters

Diet: Herbivore

Era: Clintozoic Era, late Creepaceous Period

Reginasaurus Femminazicus.

See Ankelosaurus.

Soccrematrisaurs [SOCK-er-MAT-ri-sores].

Order of the Anesthesiocephalus, suborder Robotica. A dweller of 'village' social groups, 75% of 'soccremoms' were believed to have been herded by Velocilyors (q.v.). 'Moms were distinguished by their care for their offspring and were marked by their mini-veins. Their brains were just the size of a walnut.

Length: Up to 2 meters

Weight: Widely varied

Diet: Velocivore.

Era: Clintozoic Era, all periods.

Velocilyor [vel-O-si-LIE-yor]

Order of the Media, suborders Anchora and Editora. The velocilyor was swift, moderately smart, and equipped with forked tongue, bloated ego, and baleen-like plates that filtered out inconvenient material. Although no larger than a wolf, the 'lyor was known for its ability to control vast herds of Soccrematrisaurs. One of the most photogenic of the politisaurs.

Length: Up to 2 meters

Diet: Conservivore

Era: Clintozoic Era, all periods

 Harassment Park

(Created 22 June 1997)

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Clinton/Gone 97