Win the War on Rugs!
Imperial March
If you're stuck inside someone's frames,
CLICK HERE
to get out.
We must rid our society of the evil of
rugs
! Most Americans don't use rugs, but there is a growing problem of
rug-users
who are spreading violence, corrupting our youth and decaying the moral fiber of our society. With easily accessible supplies, anyone can now set up a
rug-lab
known as a "
rug-house
". As a society that wants to protect our youth and future, we need to immediately begin a
W-A-R
against the evils of
rugs
by taking the following steps:
1.
Make it illegal to use, possess or even know about
rugs
.
2.
Have mandatory
rug-checks
for employment, military service, sports, professional licensing, and in our schools.
3.
Hire extra police to help fight the
W-A-R
and give them the power to search individuals, vehicles and homes without a warrant if they suspect the presence of
rugs
.
4.
Launch a multimedia campaign sponsored by public taxes and corporate entities to make the public aware of the evils of
rugs
.
5.
Encourage police to: do random road-spot checks, confiscate money or property of
rug-users
, hire more
undercover rug agents
, train police dogs to sniff out
rugs
, search anyone out on the roads between 2am and 6am (as they are probable
rug-users
) and pay overtime for officers to stake out dressing-rooms, locker-rooms and rest-rooms looking for
rugs
.
6.
Create a new presidential cabinet position, the ‘
Rug Czar
’, the better to coordinate enforcement efforts of the FBI, REA, BATF and local authorities.
7.
Compile a national database to track known
rug-users
.
8.
Step up border-patrols, with the military, to prevent
Mexican rugs
from entering our country.
9.
Start a R.A.R.E. (
Rug Awareness Rehabilitation & Education
) program for fifth graders to teach them all about the evils of
rugs
and and have them spy on their potentially
rug-using parents
. This is a crucial age-group for moral establishment.
10.
Make sentences mandatory for anyone caught three times with
rugs
and build extra prisons to hold the offenders. To help make room for
rug-users
, parole less dangerous criminals such as wife-beaters, rapists and thieves.
11.
Increase bail-bonds for arrested
rug-users
, to where they are higher than the less dangerous crimes of violence, rape and theft.
12.
Spend a small amount for rehabilitation programs for first-time
rug-offenders
.
13.
Outlaw
rug paraphernalia
such as rug dye and vacuum cleaners.
me at
(
Replace the
X
with an
@
.
)
Poole Plaza
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