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A journalist once asked Albert Einstein if he were able to return to earth for a second life, would he be a scientist again? Einstein stated, "Hell no, I would be a plumber, he makes more money than I do." Fidel Castro visited the United States before becoming the head of Cuba. He tried out for the New York Yankees baseball team and did not make it. He returned unhappily to Cuba. Mr. Castro did not end up spending the rest of his days in left field! Sir Wilfred Laurier was the Canadian Prime Minister during the time of the first trans-continental railway. He helped launch a University out west. (My memory fails me on the name of the city) He took the train to that city and when he stepped of he wanted to purchase a newspaper. He had a lengthy converstation with the newsboy about politics and that boys aspirations for the future. John Diefenbaker, the newsboy, also became Prime Minister of Canada some 50 or so years later. Winston Churchill at a dinner was told by the lady next to him, "Sir, You are drunk." Churchill replied, "Madam, You are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober". Similarly, Churchill, was told by Nancy Astor, "If you were my husband, I would give you poison". He replied, "If I were your husband, I would take it." Churchill was visiting the Southern United States in 1946. He attended a dinner party a socialite's house. The hostess aked him what kind of chicken meat he desired. He said that he wanted breast meat. Shocked the hostess replied that in the South they don't say things like that and that chicken is either white or dark meat. Several weeks later, Churchill sent the hostess a card thanking her for dinner. Enclosed was also a brooch with a short description saying: "Pin this to your white meat." US President Calvin Coolidge was renowned as a man of few words. At a dinner, he was reputedly told by a lady, "Mr. President, I have a bet with a friend that I can get more than three words out of you tonight." The President turned to her and said, "You lose". Dorothy Parker, the american author was told of Coolidge's death and responded, "How could they tell ?" Different types of troops have always had a healthy contempt for their fellows in other branches of the service. An unknown british infantryman in Wellington's army remarked that, "The thing you have to understand about cavalry is that most of the brains is in the horse." A radio conversation between a US naval ship and a Canadian naval officer off the coast of Newfoundland : Americans : Please divert your course 15° to the north to avoid a collision. Canadians : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15° to the south to avoid a collision. Americans : This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again divert YOUR course. Canadians : No. I say again, divert YOUR course. Americans : This is the U.S.S. Missouri. We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy. Divert your course NOW. Canadians : This is a lighthouse. Your call. The Duke of Cambridge was Commander-in-Chief of the British army in the late nineteenth century. A deeply conservative man, he is reported to have complimented one of his officers with the words : " Brains ! I don't believe in brains ! You haven't any, I know Sir ! " A British Admiral with the Royal Navy in the Baltic during the Crimean War, ordered a new Russian mine brought aboard the flagship for examination. Remarking that, "This must be how you set the devilish thing off", he struck it on one of the horns.... Since the fall of the Roman Empire, Italian troops have had a pretty poor reputation. During World War 2, an Italian contingent fought in Russia under the German General von Manstein. In his memoirs, Manstein wrote of the troops under his command. He extolled the virtues of the german fighting soldier and then said of their Romanian allies that they fought well for a while and then ran away. The Italians, he wrote, just ran away, "but then what can you expect from Italians." Perhaps one of the world's worst generals fought in the US Civil War. Burnside never won a major victory, and was responsible for several blunders which cost the lives of many troops. For example, he ordered an attack across a heavily defended bridge, and sustained it for a number of hours, despite the fact that the river in question was fordable in several places close by. General Ney was condemned to death after the Battle of Waterloo for having supported Napoleon on his return from Elba. Asked by the tribunal if he had any final words, the hero of the retreat from Moscow, wounded many times in the service of his Emperor, drew himself up and said, "Do you seriously think that I am afraid of bullets ?" Note: Ney is the general responsible for the calvary charge which most historians speculate, lost the battle for Napoleon. Napoleon as well as being one of the greatest generals of all time, had the knack of putting his military thinking into words with great clarity. In a few words, he could clearly state what others have written whole volumes about. A few of his best are : Asked how he chose his Marshals out of all the soldiers in the french army, Napoleon replied "I chose the lucky ones". Napoleon was a keen believer in the now well known dictum that no plan of action survives contact with the enemy. In his own words, "On s'engage l'enemi, et puis, s'on vois", ("you engage the enemy, and then you see".) Perhaps the best general among Napoleon's Marshalate was Davout. At the battle of Auerstadt in 1806 he defeated a Prussian army three times the size of his own. When the Emperor was informed that Davout was engaged, he began to prepare to march to his aid, only to be informed by the next messenger that there was no need as the victory was won without him. Davout was made Prince of Auerstadt for this exploit.

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