<FONT color="#004080"><FONT size="+4">Here's DeMOCKracy's bill of NO rights</FONT></FONT>
Bill of NO Rights
Look out, someone may be watching!
BILL OF NO RIGHTS
By Greg McNeil
We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along,
restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe,
promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to
ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to
ordain and establish some common-sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal, commie pinko bedwetters. We hold
these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the
Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
Article I
You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV, or any other form
of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.
Article II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave
the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of
idiots and probably always will be.
Article III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your
eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you
and all your relatives independently wealthy.
Article IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most
charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional
couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation
of couch potatoes.
Article V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the
looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
Article VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together
and beat the crud out of you or kill you.
Article VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or
coerce away the goods services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of
us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right
to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
Article VIII
You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign
wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and
won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not
enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time
battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
Article IX
You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will
gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the
opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself
useful.
Article X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have
the right to pursue happiness -- which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are
unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you
who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Send, Fax, or somehow, get a copy of this to your Congress Critters, both State,
and Federal.. Lets give them a message that they won't soon forget.
Look out, someone may be watching!
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