Received 11.8.2001

Hi

Finally site that isn't as concerned with philosophies around atheism but instead what is like being an atheist in the real world. I've had my share of scrutiny from the world, though not as much as you'd think. then again, I don't wear my lack of belief like a badge. I just bring it up when I don't agree with people. Still, there have been to odd event here and there.

I've lost what could be seen as my first true love over religious differences, and I've been given the excuse more than once that "we can't date because you are an atheist". What is upsetting is that a lot of the times it WAS because I was an atheist, and not because the woman wanted a convenient excuse. It was quite a shock to the system to realize, and 
not simply know, that I view religion and its importance in a completely different light than religious people, and that would always separate me from them. Its quite hard, considering that some of my close friends are deeply religious.

Still, I won't let something like that set me back. In the end, for me its about living the one life we have, and trying to change the world that little bit as we live. I don't believe in a god, and though there might be one (I can't be as arrogant as completely pushing aside the idea of a god - something that powerful would exist beyond anything we know) I don't 
really care either. As far as our existence and our realm goes, we are alone, and 
the sooner people learn that they must stand on their own two feet and realize their responsibility to our race, the better our species will become.

I really enjoy your site, and I hope I can contribute to it in the future!

Regards,
James Francis

My Reply:

Single atheists learn to dread that uncomfortable moment when the topic of religion first surfaces in a new relationship.  Atheists who date most likely have a canned defense that they launch to diffuse any potential misunderstanding since by default they are the ones assumed to have the moral low ground.  They are the ones burdened with providing the philosophical argument for why they are not evil.  And every atheist probably has a story to share of awkward dinner table conversation about religion with a date's family.

Considering that 90% of American's are not atheist, religion is likely to be an issue for most atheists in serious relationships.  Whether or not to follow your mate to church each Sunday, get married in a church, or have your children baptized all have potential to be long standing sore points with a mate and their family.

It sounds like you have the right attitude, be true to yourself and set a good example, and perhaps you will open a few minds along your way.  If everyone focused on this life rather than the afterlife maybe the world would be a better place.