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1. Go up to the clerk at the counter and ask for grey poupon.
2. Apply for one of those stupid savings cards with the
name Hugh G. Rection, Ben Dover, or I.P. Freely
3. Take out a knife and slash any plastic products you can find.
4. Urinate in the Ice Freezer
5. Urinate in the Ice Cream Freezer
6. Take the tops off all the milk
7. Open every single bag of chips in the store
8. Urinate in the change slot of the coke machine
9. Run around the store and squirt people with paint.
10. Or even better, urinate on them!
11. Put the butter on the ground and jump on top of it.
12. Take a pack of american cheese and put your
footprint in it.
13. Call the cashier "Garcon" (Garr-sone)
14. Ask where the birth control devices are.
15. When you can't find them, take some ballons
and ask the clerk if this is it
16. Sit in the checkout line and tell people about
what is in the food they are buying.
17. Put the laundry detergent on the floor and watch
the performance.
18. Run up and down the isles knocking everything
off the shelves.
19. Ask a clerk if lemon scented Dawn contains urine
20. Scream really loud while waiting in line.
21. Faint and watch the fun.
22. Set the phones on ringback and watch the fun.
23. Sit in front of the revolving doors and
stare like you're amazed.
24. Talk with an english accent.
25. Ask the cashier if they cash bounced checks.
26. Comment on the scent of the store.
27. Go around and ask people if you can ride in their carts.
28. Say the dog food looks more appealing that the
stuff at the deli counter
29. Open up some dog food and say it's a
special breakfast treat.
30. Tell the clerk he looks like a freak.
31. Steal all the coupons from the handouts.
32. Tear everything off the bulletin boards.
33. Yell "Fire!!!" really loud.
34. Ask people in line for change.
35. Point at someone, and yell really loud "No thank
you Mr. Drug Dealer!"
36. Tell dirty jokes really loud.
37. Ask the clerk why he/she is blushing.
38. Try and pick up clerks of the oposite sex.
39. Better yet, try and pick up clerks of the same sex.
40. Play hall hockey with a glass bottle in the isles.
41. Wear a big raincoat and walk around like a flasher.
42. Better yet, show your stuff!
43. Make nasal sounds in line.
44. Phrophesize about the end of the world
45. Enter the express line with way too many items.
46. Throw stuff at people
47. Ask where the wine is.
48. Ask for a spare uiform.
49. Ask for a cigar.
50. Pop the bags of chips.
51. Remark about how cold all these crappy places are.
52. Take all the expenisve cheese and stomp on it.
Makes some neat looking artwork!
53. Go to the deli counter and ask for 6 pounds of
something no one would want (like Olive-loaf) as
they turn to slice it, run.
54. Take out your friendly squirt gun and have a
big war (or painballs) see how long it takes
to get thrown out!
55. Take the instant coupon machine(if your supermarket
has one you know what i am talking about) and jam
the crap out of them, litteraly!
56. Or take a long hard stick of salami and beat the
crap outta of an instant coupon machine with it.
57. Put a salami stick in your pants and walk around.
58. Urinate on the Produce
59. Put a can of soda in the freezer. Boom!
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