Things to Give an RPI Student for Christmas

1. Sleep
2. Alcohol
3. A 4.0 GPA
4. A blank check (caution: it will be accepted)
5. No-Doz, Vivarin, etc. (in lieu of #10)
6. A parking space
7. A lover (if impossible, see #9)
8. Common sense
9. A reason to come back next semester
10. A transfer 

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