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Saving Pvt. Ryan

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SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

War is hell.

Hi, my name is Slim and I just saw a movie about god, guts, glory, guns, guts, gumption, greatness, and guts. And I'm not talking about Rambo 7, 8, 9 or whatever the hell Sly is up to. Nope, I'm talking about a movie that has more worth, more quality in 5 minutes of it than all of Sly's Rambo films do no matter how many times you watch them.

I'm talking about "Saving Private Ryan", the latest from the man who gave you spaceships and ghosts, Steven Speilberg. Now some folks are saying Stevie boy put in too much guts and gore in the film, that scenes of arms being blown off or heads being used as target practice for big guns is just a bit too much. Hey, you muddled headed PBS watching nimwits, the movie is about war. What do you think happens? Someone comes up to you and says "excuse me, could we get together over tea and talk about this?" It's when I hear stupid crap like this that I want to get out my 2 ton four wheel drive 1978 Dodge sixpack truck and drive through their houses.

Anyway, the movie isn't really about war, it's about male bonding and dying and the stupidness of the US Army and what those old geezers who hang out down at the local VFW did for this country back in the days when men were men, girls got pregnant and stayed at home, and American cars were made of good old American steel. It's a movie that better make you glad those old geezers did what they did, because if it doesn't then get your pinky socialist butt out of here before I come and make you learn to eat using a no hands and a straw.

We got bombs bursting in air, buildings blasted apart and flying in air, bullets flying in air, brains and arms and legs flying in the air, the greatest battle scene of storming a beach in the history of cinema, men being men and one worthless squidly
mamby-pamby wimp ass who should have been squashed by a tank, and finally we got a movie that should be required watching for every half-witted, dim-witted, slow-witted, witless man or woman who is in politics, thinking of being in politics, or has any desire to be in politics. Not to mention all those lard-ass, dumbass, boneass yahoos who are in the monstrousity they call the Pentagon.

Four red, white, and blue stars. Go check it out and then go buy the old geezers a round.

editors note: This movie deserves another link