Friday, July 07, 2000

happy birthday, sherry! nice site.
posted by April Fraze 7/7/2000 10:34:10 PM| link

all too often an attempt at modesty screams...."i'm better than you are." perhaps i am too sensitive.
posted by April Fraze 7/7/2000 10:23:29 PM| link

john, have a wonderful vacation!!!!
posted by April Fraze 7/7/2000 11:54:00 AM| link

i just realized that the latest cd purchase hasn't changed since this site went up....fact is this....i haven't made another cd purchase since to my recollection. i may have to trade that to most recently acquired trade....changes are in the wings....
posted by April Fraze 7/7/2000 11:53:18 AM| link

Thursday, July 06, 2000

sometimes i get super concerned about things at night and sweat it a bunch then i come into the office and just work.....no stress today, just moving along doing my thing. it's quiet and i've finished a few projects i've had on the back burner for eternity. yeah!! now there are things i still want to do, but i can get to those later. right now it's just me and my computer....and for a moment i did a little coloring. my job has many facets. when i am left along to do them it isn't so bad. wish it could always be so quiet.
posted by April Fraze 7/6/2000 02:01:13 PM| link

Wednesday, July 05, 2000

amazing...i slipped and put some caps in that last post. weird, of course.
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 01:45:29 PM| link

i believe i'm ready to slink down into the depths of poverty in pursuit of the perfect job. maybe there is no such thing as a perfect job, but i'm ready for a change. i suppose i just need a shake in my life...one that i generate. i'm not certain what i'm looking for yet, but a little more fun would be nice....and a few less thoughts of work during the nights and weekends. We'll see. Any suggestions....forward them to me. we can call it the name april's career poll. thanks.
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 01:04:28 PM| link

my checking account is so screwed up....i am sooooo tired of dealing with it....all of this time and energy could be used for better things...and my mood would be improved. i worry now that after closer scrutiny the bank will end up claiming it to be my error and will sock it to me more. i've been charged so much and so many things have been deducted and re-added to my account i cannot read my statement. why must we have a checking account? it's a scam really.....i would rather receive a paycheck than have automatic payment, but that's how my company does it. and if i didn't have a checking account i wouldn't be able to cash my checks anyway......it's a huge vicious circle and it wears me out.....

we may work to make money, but other people make the rules on how we manage it. it's a pity really.
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 12:50:39 PM| link

the author speaking to pan:

"it hurt you to experience your popularity waning, it might have driven you to the wineskin were not the wineskin already, mr. sensual license, your lifelong friend; and it added to your misery to observe the effects of estrangement upon your former followers. in losing you, they were losing their body wisdm, their moon wisdom, their mountain wisdom, they were trading the live wood of the maypole for the dead carpentry of the cross. they weren't as much fun, anymore, the poor homers; they were straining so desperately for admission to paradise that they had forgotten that paradise had always been their address......."

--jitterbug perfume, tom robbins
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 10:20:45 AM| link

"every daydream that involves the past sports in its hatband a ticket to the grave."

--jitterbug perfume, tom robbins
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 10:12:46 AM| link

"the highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplacable being."

--jitterbug perfume, tom robbins
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 10:10:05 AM| link

alobar and kudra discussing alobar's initial meeting with the bandaloop doctors:

"they seem rude."

"rude? yes, they were plenty of that. but, you see, a long time ago, far off in the west where i come from, i met two rude characters, one a shaman, one a god, and though each treated me disagreeably in the beginning, one gave me special courage, the other special fear, both of which i required for this journey that i am on. those who posess wisdom cannot just ladle it out to every wantwit and jackanapes who comes along and asks for it. a person must be prepared to receive wisdom, or else it will do him more harm than good. moreover, a lout thrashing about in the clear waters of wisdom will dirty those waters for everyone else. so, a man seeking knowledge must be first tested to determine if he is worthy. from what i have gathered, rudeness on the part of the master is the first phase of the test."

"you mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?"

"quite the contrary. you must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrity to defend. but you must defend it nobly, not by imitating his own low behavior. if you are gentle where he is rough, if you are polite where he is uncouth, then he will recognize you as potentially worthy. if he does not, then he is not a master, after all, and you may feel free to kick his ass."

--jitterbug perfume, tom robbins


posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 10:01:57 AM| link

there are very few things to blog anymore....and i'm not so certain why....i run across things on the radio or in the paper during my daily doings that i want to spread around, but i never quite have the words to put them down. i've realized i'm in a rut of some sort......
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 09:50:34 AM| link

jb, hope your home hunt is going well!
posted by April Fraze 7/5/2000 09:02:41 AM| link

Tuesday, July 04, 2000

i wanted to write about being american today and what that means to me, but i have no idea how to describe it. no, i'm not patriotic....but i'm also not unpatriotic. i know there are benifits to being from the grand old usa.....for one i was able to go to college because of our financial aid program.......and supposedly i can be whatever i want regardless of religion, race, sex, or sexual orientation.

but then the freedoms we have are by no needs limitless. only recently the boy scouts won a battle to keep gays from being a part of their group....and being a stereotypical american girl....white, middle class doesn't always provide me with resources for all of my dreams.....

i can say what i want....but we all know there are consequences on everything. so we sometimes hold our tongues. i can do what i want but when is there time to do it. for me....being american is having the dream i suppose. the one that leads to happiness...whatever that is to you...or me....or the neighbor. and having the possibility of achieving it within its own reasonableness. but then again there are concessions. still, i have the dream. and probably a greater chance to make it happen than many others. for that i am fortunate. but then again.......

you can see my dilemma.

note: there is no cynicism to this post....maybe indifference.
posted by April Fraze 7/4/2000 10:42:44 PM| link

Monday, July 03, 2000

i got a puzzle here. and i also went here....awesome. if you know anyone interested in supporting good wildlife projects either monetarily or in public relations please contact these wonderful institutions that are educating so many on their wilderness neighbors.

what i learned: for every one human death caused by the american black bear there are 90,000 homicides.

it really puts things into perspective doesn't it?

posted by April Fraze 7/3/2000 10:58:44 PM| link

Sunday, July 02, 2000

sometimes i feel like i'm being bullied by e-mail forwards. and it's a bad feeling. it calls on me to evaluate what my time is worth and what my beliefs truly are....and how inclined i am to divulge that information even to myself.

i got one today. well, it was one of many....i deleted the others. but the subject on this one played on my sympathies. from time to tme i enjoy the inspirational "chicken soup for the soul" type story.....soft reminders of my heart. a young child returns to an old teacher to say thanks or a little girl tells her class something she overheard from her parents. they keep us human.

today's story was much the same. it was a christian story that featured a lady expecting a visit from christ. she used the last of her money to buy provisions and on her way home was encountered by a couple in need....she hesitated but finally gave them the food and a coat to boot....when she returned home there was a note from christ thanking her for taking care of him.

the basic premise is good and i can appreciate this sort of religious sentiment. the lessons are well-received on my end.....and my heart is not so hardened as to appreciate the warmth sent along with the note.

but the last lines irked me:

"THIS IS A SIMPLE TEST... If you love Jesus, send this to ten people and the person that sent it to you!!!!!!! Do not keep this message. The mantra must leave your hands within 96 hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious."

so basically i have a time limit to claim my surprise........to prove my love for christ i must harass my friends and family with yet another e-mail made up of words written by a stranger rather than having the time to send a heartfelt personal message....even better i have to put a time limit on them.....make them spend some of their minutes burdening their friends....keep it going over and over....probably getting it again.....until.....AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!

facts:

i barely get a chance to answer those i love and want to talk to
i am not a christian, but a seeker...i do not denounce christianity, but i will not be bullied into spreading its gospel or pretending that i believe its creed so that i can get a wish or to avoid bad happenings
i think it's sick how people just sit around and type these things up....and i wonder how many folks are compelled to forward them out of fear.

JUST SAY NO!
posted by April Fraze 7/2/2000 09:37:33 PM| link