Friday, September 29, 2000

from the keyboard of my dear aunt barbara....

"climb the mountains and get their good tidings. nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. the winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves."

--john muir

one last shot at stardom.......



goodbye........for now.....


posted by April Fraze 9/29/2000 06:13:12 PM| link

how i wish i had written this:

tom robbins, fierce invalids home from hot climates:

"that's the way the mind works: the human brain is genetically disposed towards organization, yet if not tightly controlled, will link one imagerial fragment to another on the flimsiest of pretense and in the most freewheeling manner, as if it takes a kind of organic pleasure in creative association, without regard for logic or chronological sequence.

now, it appears that this prose account has intentionally begun in partial mimicry of the mind. four scenes have occurred at four different locations at four seperate times, some set apart by months or years and while they do maintain chronological order and a connective element (switters), and while the motif is a far cry from the kind of stream-of-consciousness technique that makes finnegans wake simultaneously the most realistic and most unreadable book ever written (unreadable precisely because it is so realistic), still, alas, the preceding is probably not the way in which an effective narrative ought properly to unfold-not even in these days when the world is showing signs of awakening from its linear trance, its dangerously restrictive sense of itself as a historical vehicle chugging down a one-way street toward some preordained apocalyptic goal.

henceforth, this account shall gather itself at an acceptable starting point (every beginning in narration is somewhat arbitrary and the one that follows is no exception), from which it shall then move forward in a so-called timely fashoin, shunning the wantonly tangential influence of the natural mind and stopping only occasionally to smell the adjectives or kick some ass.

since this new approach should render chapter headings (those that designate date and place) unnecessary, they will from now on be scratched. if the next chapter were to have a heading, however, it would read:"

ft. collins, co 2000
posted by April Fraze 9/29/2000 01:43:06 PM| link

thompson discusses the atmospere at berkeley in 1965:

"nonstudents lump one another-and many students-into two very broad groups: "political radicals" and "social radicals." again, the division is not sharp, but in general, and with a few bizarre exceptions, a political radical is a left activist in one or more causes. his views are revolutionary in the sense that his idea of "democratic solutions" alarms even the liberals. he may be a young trotskyist, a de bois club organizer or merely an ex-young democrat, who despairs of president johnson and is now looking for action with some friends in the progressive labor party.

social radicals tend to be "arty." their gigs are poetry and folk music, rather than politics, although many are fervently committed to the civil rights movement. their political bent is left, but their real interests are writing, painting, good sex, good sounds and free marijuana. the realities of politics put them off, although they don't mind lending their talents to a demonstration here and there, or even getting arrested for a good cause. they have quit one system and they don't want to be organized into another; they feel they have more important things to do.

a report last spring by the faculty's select committee on education tried to put it in a nutshell: 'a significant and growing minority of students is simply not propelled by what we have come to regard as conventional motivation. rather than aiming to be successful men in an achievement-oriented society, they want to be moral men in a moral society. they want to lead lives less tied to financial return than to social awareness and responsibility.'"

--the great shark hunt, hunter s. thompson

first i must admit that i'm happy to finally be done with this book. it isn't that i didn't enjoy it, but after nearly 700 pages of nixon and his henchmen, drug-addled paranoia, horse races, south american upheavals, and jimmy carter's wishes not to come true, i'm ready for a change. this final posting is something i marked to get back to, because i feel it really shows where some of our failures lie. the 60's "revolution" failed because there was never a middle-ground reached between the social and political activists. it's the saddest fact really, and i kind of snicker to myself when i think of all the elders who have told me how "they were there" and how we were all just "wannbe hippies." i am not a hippie.....i sometimes use the word to describe friends because that's the only word available that my mom will understand.....but i prefer "bohemian." the radical movement was not new to america in the 60s (think reds, socialism and labor unions, woody guthrie)....i think the media exposure lit on the haight-ashbury scene as the product of the popular "beat movement." finally we had a fast travelling medium to abuse to spread the word about the crazies in our nation, and television was a sure-fire way to scare the bejeezus out of june cleaver by leaking out the word about our teens and twenty-somethings, but i digress.

the fact is that a lot of good people in the 60s had good ideas about where our society should be going. but there really needed to be a better plan about how to get there. "dropping out" is easier.........and i have to admit i'm tempted to do the same, but it isn't going to change anything. laws that bind us are still there (ask the native americans in south dakota who are going up against the govenrment to defend their tribal laws against federal laws).........and we are each bound to them. you can go out far into the woods and set-up camp, but eventually you will be found....and if your convictions are strong and unyielding you'll likely be a threat to national security and well....think waco and ruby ridge....

point is.....i watched nader last night on letterman and i liked the plea he made to americans to use their vote to bring us back to democracy....and to go out and run for office on the green party ticket...it's exciting to see a party encouraging involvement........."come one, come all.....be a part of us." it's a necessity in the recipe for success....and i feel half -motivated to go run for an office. but what the heck would i be? anyway, this is long-winded and non-linear, and reaches no real point....but i need to carry-on with my day, and i can't imagine anyone who hasn't had a lot of practice already to understand and take anything from my ramblings....

if you haven't read dharma bums you shouldn't even bother with desolation angels. and if you understood that comment you're half-way there....
posted by April Fraze 9/29/2000 01:17:58 PM| link

Thursday, September 28, 2000

well, in case you are wondering....we decided tonight to head to ft. collins on saturday. the past couple of days have been full of adjusting to the lack of external responsibility. i've done dishes, laundry, planted a few young plants, and slept in....i've talked to rick on yahoo.....and made a few calls on housing. so far things look grim on the housing front, but i have put in a few calls to my associates and they painted a brighter picture so on a whim i made a call just go. in approximately 72 hours i will be checking out the rockies....and you should be jealous (sorry....couldn't resist).

hi aunt mary and aunt barbara! i'll mail you soon and fill you in on my adventure........i love you both very much!
posted by April Fraze 9/28/2000 09:24:28 PM| link

Wednesday, September 27, 2000

my latest listening behavior is interesting at best.

might i recommend:

ain't it funny - loretta lynn
home-grown tomatoes - blue dogs
long-haired country boy- charlie daniels band
she thinks i still care - conway twitty
ain't that lonely yet - dwight yokum
happiest girl in the whole u.s.a. - donna fargo
harper valley p.t.a. - jeannie c. riley
*wild and blue - john anderson
louisiana woman, mississippi man - loretta and conay
american made - oak ridge boys
thank god for kids - oak ridge boys
ya'll come back saloon - oak ridge boys
heaven's just a sin away - the kendalls
one promise too late - reba mcentire
class of 57 - statler bros.
daddy sang bass - statler bros.
*what's your momm's name - tanya tucker
delta dawn - tanya tucker
take a chance - abba
everything i own - bread
naughty girls need love, too - samantha fox
head to toe - lisa lisa & the cult jam

i swear i'm morphing through the stages of my life all over again. hanging at my neighbors, listening to his classic rock stations i catch myself getting into ac/dc and craving danzig......and i keep dong some crazy air guitar thing that is sooooo much fun that it worries me.......and i have this scorpions tape i carry in my car from time to time, because believe in love will always be a good song.
sarah's post today i'm pretty certain i'll be into the ghetto boys and run dmc soon enough.................i look forward to the led zep phase, and the pink floyd because they are often surreal, however short-lived.
posted by April Fraze 9/27/2000 02:41:44 AM| link

"but my angel you'll get your wings tonight....heaven up above..."

in honor of the fact that i'm celebrating/fighting off the nausea i feel tonight.....i'm taking advantage of napster to listen to a few songs i would never buy, but wouldn't mind hearing for nostalgia's sake. i have to ask...just what exactly are the odds that seven different people on-line would have lisa lisa and the cult jam on their computers? let me tell you, they are pretty good....geez!

so, everybody round up a copy of head to toe and shake your booties for the 80s? it's flashback night in my living room.
posted by April Fraze 9/27/2000 02:23:01 AM| link

Tuesday, September 26, 2000

can i get an "amen"?

today was the last day at the office....i'm jobless, planless, and i don't know what i want to do. i've been ill over the past couple of days and this afternoon i felt kind of crummy. i was a bit sad on the drive home because i had a headache and i wanted to celebrate. luckily a couple of aspirin cleared the headache and my cold appears to be letting up. i feel less feverish and i keep looking in the mirror, because i look different to myself. and i feel different. as silly as it may sound i feel like i've confessed a sin. leaving a fledgling corporation is like shedding a layer of ick. i can be anybody i want again.......not in the truest sense, but at least the expecations are raw.

who knows? maybe i'll find something i will be happy doing.........maybe i'll find the place that makes me happy.....maybe not, at least i have something to claw for. tomorrow i'm taking a bike ride and walking my dog.

the new and improved me


posted by April Fraze 9/26/2000 10:07:35 PM| link

Monday, September 25, 2000

i really wish there was an everyday usage for the word fexofenadine.

i guess if you had a sister who was always knocked down by allergies year after year, and then one day she was out on a high pollen count and she didn't sneeze once or have watery eyes you could say, "man, she is so fexofenadine."

that was me trying to be funny...carry on.....
posted by April Fraze 9/25/2000 11:25:00 PM| link