Hey! I can't stand that!

A list of my peeves and those of the guestbook signers.

What pisses you off, huh? There's got to be something that someone does that you can't tolerate. Sure these may be little things, but then everything starts from something little. Marriages are broken up over seemingly trivial matters, friendships end over the most insignificant faults, and well, I just hate you because you can't pronounce words correctly, you hand off your daughter to your parents because you want to go out clubbing, you love to date little girls, you know how it goes...

So without further ado, Our list of Peeves!

• Snoring -- Yeah, we all hate it, but how many of us do it ourselves? Don't lie, we all hear you suck wind and gurgle in your sleep. Yes, we all snore and we all laugh at other people that do. It's a peeve that's quickly starting it's own pastime.

• Chewing with your mouth open -- Geez, I don't want to see you masticate, alright? I know what your food looked like, don't make me follow it through digestion. This also leads to it's own subset and that is...

• Mouth music -- Okay, fine, I can look away when you chew, but stop trying to entertain me with your musical talent by popping, smacking, and breathing between chews.

• People who steal writing instruments -- You know, the ones who never seem to have a pen or pencil? What do they do? They ask if they can borrow yours, and then they never return it. This used to always bug me in grade school, and people still do it today.

• Body Odor -- Damn, you and your stinky ass! Why do you always have to sit next to me! It's an epidemic that's dying out, thank God.

• People who don't know how to spell -- Dam, I hait it wen peeple can't get things rite. Lurn how to spel, damit!!

• Stupid people -- You all know that I hate them, loathe them, want to kill them, I doubt that I have to explain any further, but if I have to, you might be on my hit list.

• Racists -- Yeah, they can all burn in hell, the bigots!

• Slow Drivers -- Shit, I'm in a hurry here, and you're determined to be in the left lane with your snail-like mentality! If I only had a rocket launcher...

• People who talk at the movie theater -- Go rent the damn movie, okay? I didn't fork out the bucks so that I could know that you had a big, red, infected pimple on your ass!

• People who don't flush -- Okay, like I really wanted to see what your greatest aspect was. Too bad, you just shit it away!

• People who shit in urinals -- Just read the damn story, alright?

• Shit talking -- I was raised to be humble, you pompous ass, but just try and make me mad, come on...

• AOL -- America On Line will be the death of the internet, I tell you. Lamers, you suck!

• Roomates who never do their share -- I hate these deadbeats with a passion! I've only had a few like this, but the rest of my roomates have been pretty good. Looks like I've been learning.

• Dirty fingernails -- Oh man, don't even touch me! What the hell do you have growing under there, anyway?

• Being followed when I shop -- This should go up with the racists, but it's such a pisser-offer that I needed to give it its own entry. I hate you people that do this, and I will no longer tolerate it when I am shopping! Expect a nasty treatment from me if you're following my footsteps.

• People who lump different races into one category -- I hate this with a passion, folks, let me explain. I am Filipino, okay? Usually, but not all the time people know that I am a Filipino. However, one of those big, goofy, inbred-looking people mentioned in the guest book additions, would just as easily call me Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. I don't know how they do it, but I don't lump caucasians into one big category. This is the best example: I'm out somewhere and ther are some Chinese people speaking in, guess what, Chinese. Without fail, some idiot comes up to me, and asks, "Can you understand what they're saying?" Jeez, sometimes...

• People who can't keep their hands to themselves -- These are the kinds of people who come over to visit just so that they can walk around your place touching everything! If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're really lucky, and I wish I lived where you do. These people start off in one part of the room and make their orbit picking up, messing with, asking about, dropping, picking back up, knocking over, repeatedly asking the same questions over and over, MY STUFF! Leave it alone, or I'll shackle your damn hands.

• People who mix up shoe brands -- This irks me, maybe, alot. Here you have a classic example of someone who loves to show off. They will buy Nike shoes, wear nothing but Nike shoes, but for some reason, they have to wear an Adidas shirt or hat! I am a hardcore Adidas advocate and have been wearing Adidas ever since I was little (I have the pictures to prove it). To me, Nike has no class -- they weren't old school enough for me. Go buy your high-dollar shoes, I'll keep wearing these shell-toes and sambas. Look at all those pimp-daddy slick 70's movies (or any 70's movie) and you'll see that the Three-stripes rule. Where are the Nikes? Waiting for Michael Jordan. Look, buy your Nike shit, but don't you dare wear them with the cooler, classier adidas gear. Don't even try to argue who's got the flavor; Nike wasn't even around to be old-school. So, If you really want to fulfill your dreams of becoming a walking bilboard for a shoe store, don't do it around me, or I'll make you feel real stupid.

• People who are jumping on the independent movie bandwagon -- You are all lost, okay? Just keep your big studio mentality, alright? Stop renting the movies that I want to see. I hate it when some idiot picks up one of my movies and says, "What the hell is this?" Actually, I like it a lot, come to think about it. It just shows that many people out there don't have a clue. A couple of years back, I was at Blockbuster and some, heh, big, goofy, inbred-looking guy was with his friends and his little sister. His sister managed to overhear my friend Jamie and me talking about "Clerks." This was a great movie, and she decided to show it to her BGI-L brother. He took one look at it and said, "Clerks? What the hell is Clerks?" Okay, dumbass, it's not like it didn't win Sundance or anything like that. I don't care for the Oscars anymore, I just pay attention to the Cannes Film Festival. Too bad "Clerks" didn't have any big explosions or gunfights for your short attention span. Too bad for you, because you'll never rent it -- too good for me. Independent films suck, leave them on the shelf so that I can rent them whenever I want to. Besides, *huck* words get in the way of the 'splosions, *huck*

Guest Book additions:

• PMS -- Hey, I've never had it, but I've had to go through it. Shit, I can't do anything right! -- Submitted by Natashja
  (ed. note: It has been made known to me that I do have PMS from time to time, and in fact, I've had PMS worse than a woman's. Heh, whoops, guess I forgot.)

  (ed. note #2: My girlfriend, Loni , has made it clear to me that I suffer from what is called "Hair-trigger" PMS. Jeez, couldn't you tell?)

• Mark -- Hey, Mark, I don't know what you did, but you are seriously peeving someone right now. -- Submitted by Natashja

• Two Faced Assholes -- Actually a pretty good peeve, but damn, how do you shit? seriously, these people need to be stopped and the best way is calling them on what they say while both parties are present. It makes for great fun! Wait a minute, we're all two-faced! Yeah, like we really tell people what we REALLY think of them. -- Submitted by D@Ve

• The shitty way people drive in San Antonio -- This is a big peeve of mine as well, but it was submitted before I created this page. Here's my take -- people here drive about five mph or SLOWER in the left lane on the HIGHWAY! They stop on the entrance ramp while getting on the freeway so as to further bottle things up, and nobody has the courtesy to get out of your way if you're in the left lane. I guess they feel like they have the right to go as fast as they can just because they're in the left lane. Err-- WRONG! They're expanding the freeways here by putting in more lanes, but I doubt that will clear up gridlock that much because in essence, you'll just have more lanes filled with shitty drivers! They need to open up a lane for people who know how to drive. Rain, heh, rain just stops the freeways here cold. When it rains, all the drivers slow to about TEN mph. Don't even get me started about the threat of ice on the road. Yeah, so it was a guest take; I just made it my own. -- Submitted by Jeremy

• Big, goofy, inbred-looking people from Oklahoma -- Hmm, well, I guess that I'll have to take the poster's word on this one. I'm not saying that there are nothing but big, goofy, inbred-looking people from Okalahoma, but the ones that are there really peeve my guest. I do hate big, goofy, inbred-looking people wherever in the world they may be because they never seem to mix well with long-haired orientals like myself. Most of the time, BGI-L's manage to find themselves lumped into the category of Stupid people. -- Submitted by Jeremy

• People who stop on Yield signs -- Ah, another one of my faves, stopping on a yield sign is very much en vogue here in the Alamo city. Look -- speed up or slow down, but don't make me rear-end you just because someone coming off of the freeway gives you major stress. Take the damn bus, okay? -- Submitted by Jamie (No relation to Natashja)

• Customers who can't find their ID# when they call up tech support -- Oh Jamie, you're always gonna have these problems because people are inherently stupid! You can't expect them to be the least bit prepared when they call you. I know you have a minimum amount of calls to make, but these people are determined to stop you from meeting it. Just tell 'em to call back when they do find it. Those assholes! -- Submitted by Jamie.

• People who talk smack -- Shit-talkers, same thing as above, but I do have one more thing, if you can back it, go ahead. If you fail, you will look a million times worse that someone who had kept their mouth shut. -- Submitted by Jamie

• Stupid Timecops -- Jeez, can't these guys keep things in order? Why do they always have to tail people who are just trying to help themselves. So what if they screw up the continuum, I want some cash! -- Submitted by Noriel Acorda MD, PhD from 2027 AD

• People who think they know more about photos than the people who work at the photo lab -- Yeah, idiot, if you knew more about it, then you'd probably be developing these yourself, huh? Actually, there are a lot of people that know more than these photo lab clerks, but I guess this peeve is dealing with those who think they know more, but don't. -- Submitted by Pamela Diaz

• People who think I'm a banana -- What? You're actually getting confused with fruit? Seriously, people who think you are not close to your roots when you actually are, are really shitty, jealous people. BUT! If you are a real banana, and you're in denial, you are the shitty person. Personally, I hate human bananas. If you don't know your own damn language, get educated! You know what happens when you lose your color? You become WHITE. -- Submitted by Keiho

• Could not get my BS in math because I failed History -- Yeah, this really sucks when you can't get ahead in college because you can't do well in a prerequesite class that has nothing to do with your major. Keep at it, you'll get it down someday. I hate to be cheesy, but if you don't know your history, you'll be doomed to repeat it. I guess you know first hand, huh? -- Submitted by Kenny Ng

• Flirts -- Oh come one, what's wrong with these? They're okay, because they show us how not to behave in public, and how to look totally desperate and easy. You lady flirts out there can tell me all your stories about date rape. Guys, if you're flirty, all the really nice girls know, and you won't get any of them. Yes, they're nicer than the one you're with. -- Submitted by Adelei Escalante

• Pe0p|_E wH0 W|2it3 LiKe Th|$ -- Okay, this is peeve of mine as well. It seems to be exploding on the asian part of the web as of late. For those of you who do not know, including those of you who use it, this is called 'Elite Script.' Are you elite? If you have to ask, you definitely are not! Elite hackers used to use this script, but it has since been abused by wannabe hackers, and lamers who think they are cool. How this got into the Asian web community, I have no idea, but they are really playing themselves out. I dare you to write like this on a hacker list! Well, a lot of people did, and that's why the alt.2600 list got overrun by newbies who didn't have a clue. Do you write like this? If you are, you can get help, but please, get help, somewhere. -- Submitted by Jamie, but reiterated by Neplus and Noriel

• Clueless People -- Heh, kinda like the aforementioned people who write in elite script! You have no idea what is going on, okay? Your blatant attempts at following the flow has corrupted the purity of the original thought! Damn, why didn't your mom cut the cord, instead of keeping you attached for so long? --Submitted by Marjorie Cortez

• Stupid people who don't read their manual before calling tech support -- Wow, clueless and stupid! Yes folks, these traits can occur in the same person and are usually cumulative. The more detrimental traits you have, the closer you get to reverting back to primordial slime! Damn, all that evolution and natural selection gone to waste... You have been selected against! ROTF, before you make yourself a fool on the phone. No, we don't know who you are, but we can write about you on our web pages, you know. -- Submitted by Lloyd Doug "Jesster" Jessee

• Salespeople especially the ones at Computer City here in Houston -- You should read about this story on Jamie's page, because it's pretty sad. Just because you sell it, doesn't mean you know all about it! Car salesmen come to mind here. Salespeople suck, they just follow me around, thinking that I'm going to steal something. You know what I do? I get in front of a security camera and PRETEND that I'm taking something. This gets them really pissed when they take me to the back and nothing is missing. -- Submitted by Jamie

• People that talk over you -- Yeah, so you think I can't speak my language? Just go ahead and talk about me, and I'll make you feel really stupid. I think it can be pretty fun to tell people that you don't know your language so that you can listen to them speak about anything they want to. You can really see who to trust. I almost did this once, but it would have been too hard to keep up the rouge. -- Submitted by Krinos

• Signing Guestbooks -- Oh yeah, be a smartass... I only sign guestbooks, like, all the time, everywhere I go. How else can the web owner keep up with demand and what's wrong with the page? -- Submitted by Charles Davis

• Filipinas having small breasts -- Hey, this isn't my peeve, alright? I could care less about breast size. So what if she has big breasts, didn't you notice that she had wide-set eyes (fetal alcohol syndrome), Bell's palsy, stuttered when she talked, and had a twitch? Oh, but she has big breasts... (remember, they can always come back and say, Filipino men have small...) --Submitted by Lyndon John Duano

• Girls with clothes on -- Okay, this could be a peeve if they were pretty, but if you're popping buttons off your pants and have cellulite on you face, or if you're just damn ugly, this is not, I repeat not, a peeve. -- Submitted by Mark

• Nigapinos -- Heh, I know quite a few. I should get Neplus to give me his take on this, but for now, I'll do this myself. Hey, you! What do you think you are? I know you make fun of bananas, but you are the exact opposite. You are dumbing yourself down. I hope you know that Filipinos just love to make fun of things, and you're painting a pretty damn big target on yourself. You are not black, you were never a slave in the South, and you do not speak ebonics as a primary language. If you are a nigapino, please, do us all a favor and tell everyone that you are not a Filipino, okay? -- Submitted by Neplus

• Power Rangers -- Okay, let me explain... I tease Janelle all the time about dressing her youngest brother up in a Power Ranger outfit and then getting on her school intercom announcing to the whole school that I was there with her Power Ranger'ed brother and that I had a pink ranger costume for her to wear. Sheesh, that was a few years ago, but I always manage to bring it up whenever I see her. Oh and ask her about that cool cup that she made for her dad... -- Submitted by Janelle

Do you have a peeve you want to tell me? E-mail me by clicking on my address, or sign the Guest Book.
I want to get more of the things that piss you off on this page.

© 1997 nacorda@lonestar.utsa.edu

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