"I feel that I am a citizen of the American dream and that the revolutionary struggle of which I am a part is a struggle against the American nightmare."
- Eldredge Cleaver
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
the MINDGAMES page has various samples of my randomness and abstract thought. Yeah, I'm a weirdo, but I'll die kinda different than the other folks. That's a good thing. =)
The next two poems could have been put in the "love" section, but I think they belong in the DORK section.. SO, since I don't have a designated DORK section (and some may argue this whole webpage IS a dork section) I'll put these two poems here on the lighthearted MINDGAMES page. =)
As I stare out of my window, and watch the falling rain,
I tend to feel an emptiness and unbearable pain.
My eyes begin to water, but I hold the tears back,
as I realize that I've lost it because my courage lacked.
The chances I had are now going down the drain,
just as the leaves from my yard get washed away.
It's no doubt that there was something there,
and knowing that I let it go leaves me restless in my chair.
In my head all these questions are floating,
and the sorrow that I feel is soaking.
My heart is empty and my body is numb,
because I know that her heart is closed, and I feel so dumb.
Why did I let her go? Why didn't I try?
If there is one, what is the meaning of this life of mine?
I thought it was to find love... didn't I do that?
But now that love is lost, where now is my life at?
I leave my room to try to settle my mind,
and I begin to tear as my brain and heart are on a grind.
I try to end my crying but it will not stop,
It will never cease until my sorrow is dropped.
I get showered by the rain as I stand in my walkway,
Hoping that my tears and my emptiness will all wash away.
- Rebel4ce, High School
Untitled
I open the window, to let in fresh air,
As I ponder about all my love and my care.
It was left unnoticed, or it seemed to me,
you looked with your eyes ever so blindly.
Was I fooling myself, or was it you,
who was fooled from the fake and what was
the true.
Maybe I was too hard, maybe I was too much,
But the love you gave didn't seem as such.
I asked myself, if you were the one,
but I see now you're not, as this relationship is
done.
I guess it's over, it's too easy to say,
and the pain that I feel is in a major way.
It would be a waste, to let it slip through our
hands,
but how can we go on, if we both say we can't.
It seemed so hard, to make it work out,
I tried my best to hide my doubts.
But now that I said them, our bond has been
broken,
I cannot breathe as good, I feel as though I am
choking.
The cuts were deep, too deep for us to mend,
Were we doomed to fail from beginning to
end?
Although I wish, you were still here,
and you will always be in my heart ever so
dear,
We know that it's right, the struggle must cease,
We can tell this is true, as we feel our love
decrease.
The love that we felt,we both know has been
severed,
But the time we have spent, for always I will
treasure.
We both have felt the joy and the pain,
We've sat in the sunlight, and have endured the
rain.
Although I still love you, this is what needs to
be done,
One tear is shed as I look out and stare at the
setting sun.
- High School
February 10, 2000
Man, Can You Irritate Me More?
I dunno, but for some reason, I can give a rat's ass about anything or anyone. (family and homeboys/homegirls not included) Everyone else just bugs the crap out of me right now.
Man, excuse me for caring and all, but I I get kinda emotional on this other tip with people I care about. ANd I don't get shit in return? Yo, what's up with that? Everyone can feel me on this. You give and give, and you basically get underappreciated.
It's karma. i'm sorry... you. If you're reading this, you should know who you are. I deserve this.
Otherwise, I would just like to smack the taste out of some people's mouths. Mr. Arrogant, Mr. Abnoxious, Ms. Me, Ms. Princess. Okay. I don't want to smack all of them. Well, not Ms. Princess. But everyone else could all be better off witha rock bottom or a few minutes in the sharpshooter. Freals!
Otherwise, for the people I miss, you prolly know who you are. Let's hook up! Peace!
-Rebel4ce
July 28, 1999
The Social Issues Hidden in Disney Movies
Ever hear about the "SEX" scandal in the skies of "Lion King"? How about Aladdin's proposition,"take off your clothes," to Princess Jasmine? How about the Priest's woody in "The Little Mermaid"? I'm sure you've encountered those Disney urban myths one time or another. But have you heard about the economic themes in "A Bug's Life"? Don't sleep on this. Though it may seem far fetched, you can find correlations with these innocent cartoons with various social themes.
In "A Bug's Life," the ants go about a natrual way of life: finding food for themeselves and the grasshoppers. This established system suddenly becomes interrupted when Flick decides to make their resouce accumulation a bit more "efficient." Instead of harvesting more nuts, Flick instead causes the pile to get lost and disrupts the natural flow of resources amongst different groups.
In another way, you can compare the grasshoppers to the elite upper class in a capitalist society. Like in most capitalist systems, there is a working class that supplies the labor to accumulate resources, while the upper class expolits these resources for their own agenda by using their "higher" status. Within a closed society, as the island was to the ants, the oppressed group found no way to fight back because of past traditions. Instead, finding solidarity amongst other oppressed bugs outside of the island and realizing that together they had the ability to shift the system.
In another economic theme, Princess Jasmine proves her higher status allows her to have high social mobility. Though she is confined to the palace, Jasmine decides to leave because the pressure of being a lonely princess is bothering her well-being. She finds herself in the marketplace, which she has no knowledge of its dynamics. Innocently, she offers a child an apple, and gets caught stealing. She gets into trouble but finds her way out of it by announcing her royalty. At the end, she manipulates the system to allow her to marry non-royal Aladdin. All in all, Jasmine is allowed to experience all levels of life without any cost to her. The system is built for her convenience, and thus shows her ability to experience all the levels of culture.
Yet in another example of economic issues, the hyennas and Scar of "The Lion King" show how past communist systems have failed. Being the oppressed group in the system, the hyennas found a psudeo ally in Scar. Scar had the opportunity to change the system and when he killed Mufasa and fled Simba away, he attained autonomy and change. Yet, his system failed miserably because his intentions were selfish and not for the betterment of the whole community. Therefore, in the end, the hyennas looked inadequate to live at a higher level because of Scar's failure.
If you read between the lines, you can find much more social themes in other Disney movies. You can shake your head in disbelief, but screenplay writers are clever. They've learned about allusions and other literary techniques to cnnect abstract themes to simple images. So, even though they may not have written about these themes consciously, the fact that they can be talked about shows their very own existence.
-Rebel4ce