Here in Asia we are waiting for the arrival of that bloodthirsty Tony Blair’s bombers and this puts me in reflective mood. I would like to share a couple of points with your small but moody audience: By the time you read this we will know whether Chelsea are still enjoying their best start since 1966. However as we have to play hateful Leicester nothing is certain. Leicester are still smarting over the Erland "Magic" Johnsen penalty in the Cup a few years and they would like nothing better than giving us one up the shitter. From my seat I thought it was a clear penalty and I would just like to add fuck Martin O’Neill, you fucking monkey! Still its hats off to Claudio for his management skills - you are indeed a footballing god, bravo! A couple of weeks ago I flew into London in good time to attend the Fulham match. I set off early with a big Bob Marley cigarette and no ticket, and strolled through Bishop’s Park feeling full of the joys of autumn. I thought I would easily get a ticket from some mug or other and was willing to spend up to 50 pounds. School boy error number 1. The few touts I did talk to turned pretty nasty when I laughed at their asking price of 90 quid. I was informed that I was "fucking mad" and "having a fucking laugh" and told to "get out of it". The upshot was I did not get a ticket, but I am not bitter. Rumour has it that Fulham will be sharing with West Ham next season as they are planning to demolish their ground. Why don’t they share with QPR, Brentford or just fuck off and play in Gunnersbury Park where they belong. Looking at their ground, their team and their supporters, they belong anywhere but in the Premiership. Fuck off Fulham. Fuck off Fulham. Fuck off Fulham. I am still buoyed up by an overwhelming sense of optimism at the likelihood of Chels doing something spectacular. The 2 Franks, Jody and the rest led the way in a well balanced yet light-hearted response to our American cousins which upset Di Canio, Priesty is great admirer of Di Canio. So Priesty, you closet Bolton fan, what is your reaction to the public exposure and vomiting shocker ? You have been suspiciously quiet recently. Perhaps you have been cultivating marijuana in the garden of your country home ?
Dr Les.
It's funny you should mention it, Les. I was wondering how it was possible to grow evil Class C drugs without having planted any seeds. Until, that is, I realised that said plant had mysteriously appeared around a week after your last visit, you muppet. You can rest assured that I will be presenting the plant (minus a few flowering heads, of course,) to the local plod as evidence of your perfidy. As to the behaviour of young Jody and his chums, perhaps I should take this opportunity to say what many other people here are thinking, i.e. fuck off, yanks, fuck off Matthew Norman, sleazebag journo of the Evening Standard, and fuck off all the other sanctimonious hypocrites who refuse to accept the incident for what it was - just stupid kids getting drunk and out of order, not a concerted attempt to insult a nation in its grief. It was bad, but hardly a crime. How many times do they have to say sorry ? Although I am as appalled as everyone else at the loss of life at the World Trade Centre, my sympathy for the Americans in general is rapidly diminishing, given the fact that they have been funding the IRA for the past 30 years without giving a flying fuck how many innocent people (around 9,000 so far) have been killed by terrorists who've been using their money to fund their activities. Not to mention, to use just one example, the 30,000 innocent civilians who were killed in Nicaragua by an organisation wholly funded by the USA. Nobody gave a shit about them. Now that the Americans have had a taste, it's as if the whole history of the world had never happened before 11th September. So-called "Irish Americans" give money to the IRA because they feel that it's the patriotic thing to do. They are too stupid to realise that they are not fucking Irish at all. They have American passports, or would have if they bothered to get one (only 10% of Americans have ever left the USA, thank God). Most of them have only the most tenuous links with Ireland. Vinny Jones's claims to be Welsh are cast fucking iron, compared to them. Most of these professional Irish Americans have no real interest in Ireland, or they would go and live there. In general their idea of what Ireland is like is based either on romanticised Hollywood films from the fifties, or on Irish nationalist propaganda. They haven't got a fucking clue what's really going on. This, apparently, is enough for them to feel justified in having innocent people killed in their name. What about non-Irish Americans, you ask, why should we not feel sorry for them ? I will fucking tell you: Non-Irish Americans have to share the blame because they have consistently refused to do anything to stop the flow of money, guns and explosives from the States not only to Ireland but many other countries whose governments are systematically killing off their populations. And don't forget that it was the Americans who taught Bin Laden all he knows about terrorism.
© 2001
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Sir,
