From the world's grumpiest Chelsea fan, Dr. Les: Sir, This may sound a little harsh, but I would give your readers the infamous
David Speedie example to underline my point: I forget which game we were
watching, but it was Speedie's debut, having just transferred from Darlington
or some other god-forsaken northern toilet. You, Priesty, bitched and bitched
about "that fucker Speedie", who was "a useless cunt", who "couldn't kick a ball",
etc etc. Bitched and bitched until Speedie scored 2 cracking goals, that is. From
that point on you were all for him. In case visitors to this site are not convinced I should add that Priesty was also a big fan
of Rocky Rocastle, who in my opinion is the most terrible signing ever made.
Forget all your Suttons, Deschamps, Flos etc - he was the pits. Back to Fowler. I think that he would be an excellent addition with his
cheeky scouse ways (remember Joey Jones?), his cocaine snorting antics and
his arse bandit shenanegangs. Remember, Fowler was the one who was knocked
unconscious by an irate Razor Ruddock. I believe he is just the man to
unite the Chelsea dressing room, and even more importantly he cannot speak cunting
English ! On a more cautionary note I would warn your readers about visiting
Singapore. This has to be the most fucked place in the world. Why? Try two
Man Utd cafe/bars for size. Dear Doc, I digress: I remember well the magnificently ludicrous sight of Speedie squaring up to defenders who were at least two feet taller than him, and how delighted we were when he took on the additonal responsibility of acting as the Great God Kerry Dixon's minder, although I have never forgiven Speedie for rubbing my nose in it so comprehensively by scoring those two goals on his debut, minutes after my crushing condemnation of his abilities. As for Rocky, you are obviously forgetting the thundering 35-yarder he scored against Viktoria Zhiskov. I seem to remember you capering around like a demented baboon at the time, claiming that it was "one of the best cunting goals I've ever seen !". If you remember, Dennis Wise scored an almost exact copy of Rocky's goal a few minutes later, prompting you to immediately forget Rocky's fabulous effort and start calling him a knobhead again. My tentative diagnosis is that this short-term memory loss is due either to the long term effects of ether abuse, or to the syphilis spirochaetes, picked up on your frequent forays into the seamier gin palaces of Hong Kong, that are slowly consuming your grey matter. Personally I would put Rocky in the same aristocratic league as the great Eddie Newton for sheer class. Now for Fowler. Anyone who supports Chelsea must place the little fucker in the same boat as Graham Roberts and Brian Laudrup, not to mention the fierce Welsh ginger warrior (my arse) Peter Nicholas. Just because Toxteth-born tosser Fowler scores the odd goal is no reason to have him stealing Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's hubcaps and generally bringing down the tone at Stamford Bridge. That is my final word on the subject.
© 2000
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
I am interested in your thoughts on Robbie Fowler, who has
recently been linked with the mighty Chelsea. I am interested in your
opinion as you are obviously a man who knows nothing at all about the
Beautiful Game.
Dr Les, The Voice of Reason
I am wounded that you have seen fit to bring up the Speedie debut incident. We were all a lot younger and less wise in those days. At least I had the good grace to admit that I was wrong, especially when Speedie demonstrated the pugnaciousness that short people all too frequently manifest. I will qualify this by reminding you of our mutual friend Raymond Attree, 4ft 3ins, who came to your rescue when you and my idiot brother Ruprecht were menaced by a seven foot skinhead in the public lavatories in Kingston.
