Sir,
I awoke this morning to find the South China Morning Post full of the breaking Bosnich story. At first I was
a little confused by this development but more importantly I debated the merits of signing a porky Australian.
The question is: do we really need another keeper? I fear the writing is on the wall for Ed, and that writing
says "fuck off Ed". I think this is scandalous as he is a fine keeper and he is the biggest in the league. If he
would only cop on and get rid of that fucking moustache. (In his defence he is Dutch, and at least he does not have the mullet barnet so favoured by many of his countrymen).
Anyway back to Bosnich. As anyone who knows me or reads my writings knows, I am a well balanced
individual, and have the ability to assess any situation on its relative merits. Therefore I think it would be
useful if we considered the pros and cons of our latest signing. Lets start with the cons......
- His previous clubs. I think that only Paul Ince has a worse career path than Bosnich. Villa (bunch of
losers "managed" by that twat Gregory) and then Man Utd! What was he thinking?
- He is not athletic. Some rude individuals might indeed describe him as a fat cunt, but that, my friends,
would be sizeist.
- That is all the cons I can think of, but please let me know if I have left anything out.
So let's consider the pros.......
- He turned down the opportunity of joining Celtic on-loan and therefore missed the chance of linking up
with Martin O'Neill. This is a plus in anyone's book.
- He hates Alex Ferguson. Nothing particularly surprising there as half the civilised world also hates that
cunt.
- He was reprimanded for a Freddy Starr goose-stepping, Sieg Heiling gesture at White Hart Lane. Now
some might find this highly offensive, but I put it in the same category as singing "We'll be running round Tottenham
with our willies hanging out", i.e. a humorous attempt to engage those fun-loving Spurs fans in some
player/crowd banter. To my mind that can only improve the game as a spectator sport. Therefore with
this action Mark has joined a select club of crowd entertainers (I know that my opinion of Eric Cantona
improved after his kung-fu antics at Palace)
- He is not ginger and he never played for West Ham.
- He chose to join Chelsea. And that, ladies and gentleman, makes him a living god in my opinion.
So therefore I would like to welcome Mark to Chelsea. I now look forward even more to playing Spurs and
Man Utd's visit to the Bridge.
You see my point?
Dr Les, The Voice of Reason
Indeed I do, Les...
Priesty.
