Yer 'ead'll be Margaglio after getting Adrian Chew this lot matey!!!!!
skatecockney@aol.com wrote:
Skate Cockney went to Nice too! She wrote and told us all about it!
Alright me ol' chinas !!!
'Ad a great time in Nice! 'Ad a bit of trouble on the first day though, only 30 minutes to get from the airport to the 'otel and on to the Gwendal & Marina for the OD!!! 'Otel was nice, nothing too Tonya & Nancy, but very nice, even though we only 'ad time to dump our Yags there and go “Blimey! We 'ad Robin Cousin's of Yags!”. We left the 'otel and went off into the street to find our Peizerat to the Gwendal & Marina.
Suddenly we spotted Uschi Kesler with 6 taxis. " I love a taxi!" She said. "Do you mind if we Shae & Vic one of your Scary Babs?!?" I asked. "Of course not dahhhhlings!" She said and then whispered " Anything for a fellow A&P fan!” Blindin’! So we
got into one of the Scary Babs and off we went.
We got a short way down the road when we spotted Christopher Dean booting another jag which he 'ad just Pasha'd up. "Come on Chris!" I shouted from the window "You're going our Vic & Shae, we'll make sure you're not Galit Chait!” "Cheers! " he replied running from the wreckage. "We 'aver little problem also" said the cabby pointing to the flat Maya on our Scary Bab. "We've got to Punsulan & Swallow one of your Maya's Chris!" I said. "Errrrrr, errrr can't you ask Jayne for one???" Responded Chris. "Gawd blimey! He *is* very Chris Dean even with his Maya’s!" I thought to myself "Don't be so Tenley Albright Chris! We're going to be Galit Chait remember! Not only that but I'm Jamie & Justin! We need to get there so I can find the Sarah Hughes!!!" I screamed. "Alright, alright! But I ain't got no
f***ing sympathy for you!!" he said. So off we went to pull off a spare Maya from the wreckage and fix it on the Scary Bab. "No, no, no! You don't pick the Maya up like that!!!" shouted Chris " It should be one flowing swooping movement....and where the f*** are the leg pulls in this?!?!? You're just not kissncrying! You've got such an attitude!!” " Are you taking the Simon and Chris?!?" I replied, holding back the tears "You show us how to do it then!” "Hang on, I'll just get Jayne to fly in." he said
"I'm sure she'll be here in a Tiff, but on the other hand, she's always Galit Chait for everything! Such an attitude!” " We're not ice skating 'ere for Jayne to turn up!!" I said.
"We're in a bit of a John Curry,
innit ?!?". " Errrr...it's all I can Gordeeva and Grinkov at the moment !!" Chris explains.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Uschi Kesler pulls up in 'er fleet of Scary Babs hooting their Shae-Lynn Bournes. "Uschi, help !!!" I screamed as we all ran towards the Scaries.
Uschi's cabby winds down his window and says " Non ! Madam Kesler refuses ! She say you make little joke about Plushy beating Elvis ! She say NON !". " I don't Matthew and Eve this !! Do me a Gordeeva, Uschi, we didn't Torvill and Dean it!!" I ranted. "How are we going to get there now?!?" I asked the others "The Gwendal and Marina is bloody Baiuls away and I still need to spend a Sonja ‘enie!!” With that Uschi's cabby explains " Hehehe! Little joke no?” "Oh very funny! It ain't time for April Zhulin yet!!" I said opening the door to find Uschi wrapped up in a big Gorsha Sur coat. "Dahhhhhrlings! Ignore him please!" she said offering us a seat. "'ang on a sec Uschi, I'll just get the others and pay the other Scary Bab" I said, gratefully. " 'ow much is it??" I asked the previous cabby. " Is 5000 franc" he replied. " 'ow much?!? Let me check your Pov and Rita!! Could have gone bloody concorde for that Michael Weiss!!” "Heehaw, little joke also yes? I charge you nothing, new Maya is good!". "These French geezers ice rink they're funny! Bloody load of Victor Kraatz!". As Bolero Bloke approaches, he and the 'eydrobladin' 'ungarian acknowledge each other with icy stares. "Bloody coaches and choreographers! I hadn't Meno and Sand this !!" I thought to meself.
Finally, Uschi's Scary Babs pull up outside the Gwendal and Marina with seconds to spare! "Quick or we'll Jayne and Chris it!!" I shouted, running towards the building. We got to the man on the door who started studyin' our tickets. " Ahhh! Non, these are copies" he said. "Kwan it! Naomi Nari bloody Nam it!!! Whadya Torvill and Dean?!? They ain't no bloody copies!! I want me Woetzel and Steuer on the phone now! Taking the Shae and Vic 'cos I can't speak the Mandy and Ingo!!" I ranted and raved. He replied "Hehehe little joke....". "Don't bloody start that again! I've 'ad enough of the Isabelle and Pauls jokes and it's doing me Chris and Jayne in! Getting on me bloody Katerina's this is!!" I bellowed. "Pardon?" The man said. "Me Crazy
Brits!! These Isabelle and Paul's jokes are a blimming Chris and Jayne in the Pekerek! Now stop Zhulin around and let us in!"
The man jumped out of our way and we found our way to our Naomi and Petes just in time after I'd been to the Sarah Hughes. "Bit harsh on that man weren't you?!?" asked Rebecca. "Well they shouldn't have Linichuk the Simon and Chris when I'm stressed and Galit Chait! :)"......It was all a bit Amber Corwin after that and the FD really :-)
With love, kisses and thanks to Tara, "Victor Kratz Ice Jeans" wearer and the original skatecockney xoxox
Confused?!? Well, I know that I certainly am. For clarification please go here for a glossary.