WCW/NWO Superbrawl IX, Live from Oakland, California.
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan
The stunning blonde from past Nitro's (Torrie Wilson) was shown sitting naked on a bed wrapped in a white sheet in a hotel room. She peered down at the menu, and discussed dinner plans with her mysterious mute man behind the camera. After setteling on the Mahi (hey, they are eating Prince Iaukea's ringwear?), the mysterious cameraman handed two tickets to Superbrawl over to this beautiful young lady. In a thrilled rush, she ran down the hall to aparently get dressed to go shopping.
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The Three Stooges attempt to hype up the main event. Tenay announces that Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair have dominated the wrestling headlines for the past ten years (which translates to "ten years AGO" for all us wrestling fans).
Schiavone narrates a package explaining how the tag tournament shaped up to what it is today. "Mean" Gene Okerlund gives the usual WCW hotline commercial.
The newest member of the nWo headed out to the ring first. After the usual dancing routine, Booker T was introduced, and the match was under- way.
The two wrestled back and forth, fans chanted, "Disco Sucks," and the commentating team spent half the match talking about tradition. The two put on an average contest, interrupted every so often for the two to do their usual showboating.
A back and forth battle ensued. As the match wore on, Disco gained the advantage, executing a few impressive moves. Booker T mounted a comeback in the form of an axe kick and a sidewalk slam,but Disco kept it coming. After a particularly impressive clothesline, Disco Inferno attempted a chartbuster to which Booker T quickly powered out of. With Disco down, Booker T went to the top rope only to be caught by his opponent. With Booker T in a compromising position on the top rope, Disco did a little showboating which cost him the match. Booker T threw him off, executed the Harlem Hangover and got the three count. Heenan, with the funniest commentating of the night, completely blows the replay.
WINNER: Booker T defeated Disco Inferno via pinfall (Harlem Hangover)
Chris Jericho, Ralphus and referee Scott Dickenson all come to the ring together. Ralphus was all decked out in a pink dress, complete with the tag on the sleeve. Saturn came out in his own black floral number. Saturn seemed to be wearing eyeliner, as well. There's nothing quite like seeing a bald, bearded, heavilly tatooed man in a dress fighting a man with a bald, toothless, dress wearing bodyguard.
Jericho took the microphone to apologize to the fans for subjecting them to seeing Saturn in a dress. He proclaimed that Saturn was not only an embarrassment to him, but to Ralphus and the fans, as well.
Saturn got the jump on Jericho, taking him outside the ring and beating on him out with the fans. He dragged Ralphus (no pun intended) into the ring to strip him of his pink feminine apparel. With flubber flying, Ralphus ran back to the locker room. Jericho used this distraction to dropkick Saturn in the back of the head.
The two men battled it out, with Dickenson calling it right down the middle. No one seemed to have the advantage for very long. At one point, Saturn had Jericho in the corner with Jericho's head in Saturn's dress. After maneuvering his way to the ropes while in the Rings Of Saturn, Jericho regained the advantage with a lionsault. It was to be short lived, however.
Saturn battled his way back in control of the contest, and slapped Jericho into the Death Valley Driver. However, rather than covering the vunerable Jericho, Perry Saturn hoisted referee Scott Dickenson on his shoulders and dropped him in another Death Valley Driver. Feeling his job was done, Saturn left the ring headed towards the back, announcing to the world his new apparent motto: "life's a drag".
Chris Jericho regained conciousness, followed shortly by Dickenson who immediately called for the bell and awarded the match to Jericho via countout (I suppose slamming a referee is no longer a DQ). Saturn must continue wearing a dress.
Heenan introduced us to a new "old saying": The more you wear a dress, the more you want to wear a dress. I'll just take his word for it.
WINNER: Chris Jericho defeated Perry Saturn via countout
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Rey Mysterio Jr and Konnan were shown in the middle of an interview for WCW.com. Konnan claimed that Mysterio would keep his mask, and Elizabeth would say hello to the barber.
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A short Scott Steiner/DDP/Kimberly package was shown.
Not your typical cruiserweight match. A great lack of high risk moves and no established storyline contributed in making this the worst cruiserweight matchup of 1999.
Chavo seemed to control much of the contest, executing a Frankensteiner and a very poor DDT from the top rope. Kidman reversed an attempted powerbomb to put Chavo in a facebuster. He then heads up to the top rope, lands the Shooting Star Press and takes the three count victory.
WINNER: Billy Kidman defeated Chavo Guerrero, Jr. via pinfall (Shooting Star Press). Retains WCW World Cruiserweight Championchip Belt.
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A short highlight package of the Goldberg/Bam Bam Bigelow feud was shown.
As Hennig and Windham made their way to the ring, the commentating team discussed the challenge Goldberg made to Steve Austin on the Tonight Show, saying that Goldberg would fight anyone. Hmmm...I'd love to see him take on Ken Shamrock. For a man whose legs were too weak to remain in pro football, he sure seems confident that he has a chance to take a shootfight victory.
Benoit and Malenko walked down the aisle, walking right past the tag team belts in their display cases without so much as glancing at them. Windham and Malenko started it off.
Malenko attempted to bring a technical ground attack to Windham which seemed to result in a stalemate. Benoit and Hennig were tagged in, who took it to each other with a power contest. The two seemed to respect each other until Hennig began a slapping contest, ending the wrestling match and starting the fight.
Not really much of a match. The Horsemen dominated much of the mach, getting a lot of near falls. The momentum shifted for a while, Windham using his power and Hennig using his technical skill and speed to the teams advantage. Malenko slapped Windham in the Texas Cloverleaf while Benoit kept Hennig at bay. Windham tapped out giving the first fall to the Horsemen.
The 30 second rest period proved to be restful only for Barry Windham. Malenko and Benoit worked over Curt Hennig in the corner while Windham removed his belt and lay in waiting. Malenko went for the quick second fall on Windham with an attempted Texas Cloverleaf, only to be choked out by the belt of Windham. As Benoit and Hennig battled on the outside, Malenko lost the last of his air. Barry Windham covered the passed out Dean Malenko for the three count and the tag team belts.
WINNERS: Barry Windham and Curt Hennig defeated Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit via pinfall (forign object choke out). Windham/Hennig become WCW Tag Team champions.
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A Roddy Piper/Scott Hall/Bret Hart package was shown, explaining the movements of the US Championchip belt in the past few weeks.
The Outsiders came to the ring flanked by Lugar and Elizabeth. Konnan and Rey Mysterio followed shortly thereafter. Nash and Konnan did their traditional mic work, and the match began.
Scott Hall started the match off against Mysterio. Rey, looking like a little boy in the ring, was easily tossed around by Hall. Rey looked so small, one could have mistaken this for a handicap match.
The Outsiders used their quick tags, experienced teamwork and superior size to keep Mysterio from tagging for quite some time. Their seal beating was taking its toll on Rey. After maneuvering his way out of an Outsiders Edge, Mysterio got to his corner and tagged Konnan. Konnan didn't keep the advantage for very long, as Hall and Nash beat him senseless.
Rey and Konnan took control for awhile, highlighted by Rey executing a bronco buster on Scott Hall (ironic, I thought, that a former clique member was recieving a move invented by another former clique member in another federation). Konnan spent this time working over Nash, before Luger pulled Konnan out of the ring. Mysterio landed a very poorly done moonsault, knocking Kevin Nash out cold (very weak). Liz climbed on the apron to distract the ref, Lugar kept Konnan occupied, Hall slapped Rey in the Outsiders Edge and dragged Nash on top. 1, 2, 3...The Outsiders take the victory.
After the match, Wolfpac climbed in the ring to celebrate their victory and to witness Mysterio remove his mask. After Rey revealed his face to the world, Nash suggested he put it back on. Bobby Heenan, thinking that Rey Mysterio bore a striking resemblance to Beaver Cleaver, suggested that Mysterio head to one of the many convienance stores in the area to secure a paper bag for his face.
WINNER: Outsiders via pinfall(some help from Lex Luger and an outsider's edge by Hall)
DDP came to the ring a determined man. Not flashing the Diamond Cutter sign, Page removed his shirt and got the battle underway. Steiner tried to run, but DDP took it to him with a series of agressive power moves. After a tough beating, Buff Bagwell made his way to ringside. Steiner regained his breath, and the two of them surrounded the ring in an attempted attack on DDP.
DDP instructed the ref not to disqualify Steiner. DDP took out both Steiner and Bagwell, dominating both of them for a short time before Steiner took advantage of an occupied DDP and took control. Steiner beat on Page with the only letup resulting in Buff's attack from the outside. As DDP mounted a comeback, Bagwell used bolt cutters to remove the top turnbuckle pad, and loosen the middle one. The ref noticed this, and threw Buff out of the ringside area.
Steiner took the battle outside. He attempted to use a chair on Page, which was thwarted by the ref who took the chair from behind him. Scott chased the ref, resulting in a short lived comeback from Diamond Dallas Page in the form of a clothesline.
The battle went back and forth. Scott executed the Frankensteiner. DDP landed the Diamond Dream. When both men got to their feet, Steiner dodged an attempted Diamond Cutter,and nailed Page's head in the exposed steel turnbuckle. As the ref checked DDP for signs of life, Steiner removed the middle turnbuckle pad. Steiner then hoisted Page on his shoulders and nailed him repeatedly to the exposed metal turnbuckles. An exausted DDP fell to the mat. Steiner slapped on the most impressive Steiner Recliner of his career. An exausted Page refused to submit, instead passing out from the pain. The referee watched DDP's arm fall three times, and the match went to Big Poppa Pump. As Page was carried out on a strecher, the commentating team did their best to talk over a loud fan chant of "DDP Sucks".
WINNER: Scott Steiner defeated Diamond Dallas Page via knockout (Steiner Recliner). Retains WCW World Television Belt, wins Kimberly Page for 30 days.
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Bam Bam Bigelow was shown in an interview with WCW.com. He explained that if Goldberg is the man to beat, Bam Bam is the man to beat him.
This was a very embarrassing match for Piper. Piper's moves looked like they came from the NBC Secrets Of Pro Wrestling program. Very, very poor performance from a once extremely talented and charismatic wrestler.
Piper started off by blinding Hall with his kilt. Piper played Hall's game, slapping him around and showing him up, before the two got into an old fashioned wrestling match. While Piper had Hall in a sleeper, Disco Inferno ran in the ring. Piper fended off the attack of Disco, as well as that of Kevin Nash before Hall got on top of Piper, put his feet on the ropes and took the three count victory and the US title.
Piper didn't seem to know what happened. Hall got on the mic and told the ref to announce who the new US champ is. Piper dropped the belt on the mat, Hall picked it up and went for a cheap shot. After fending off Hall's attack, he nearly became the victim of an Outsiders' beating. Piper ducked under Nash and made the escape.
Had this simply been an old fashioned 80's style matchup, it might not have been bad, but the follies and mismoves made this contest the worst of the night. It's a shame that Piper has to embarrass himself. He was undeniably charasmatic and ahead of his time in his early WWF years (pre-retirement after defeating Adrion Adonis). A little bit of the Hot Rod shined through in this match, but unfortunately, he just can't get the job done anymore.
WINNER: Scott Hall defeated "Rowdy" Roddy Piper via pinfall
The most I can say about this match without puking is at least they did not completely punk Bigelow out. They at least gave him the opportunity to showcase his superior stregnth, speed, moves, ability, and ring presence. Of course, rather than promote and showcase one of the best wrestlers in the history of pro wrestling (and one of the few legends who can still compete), they promote their Steve Austin/Warlord clone to another dull victory.
The two went back and forth, Bigelow dominated for much of the contest. Goldberg threw Bigelow off the turnbuckle in an attempted moonsault (a move alien to Goldberg). "Da Man" attemped a spear, but Bam Bam made the escape. Seconds later, Goldberg landed the spear in his second attempt. He slapped on the Jackhammer (which looked more like a modified suplex as he could not hold Bigelow's weight). One, two, three. Who's next? Who cares?
One positive note is that through the piped in Goldberg chant, a quiet but audible ECW chant could be heard.
WINNER: Goldberg defeated Bam Bam Bigalow via pinfall (Jackhammer).
Believe me when I tell you that I wish there was more to say than the following: If you've seen one Hollywood Hogan match, you've seen them all. The two men battle it out, Hogan gets an advantage, Hogan whips Flair with the belt, Flair mounts a comeback, Flair takes the belt and whips Hogan, blah...blah...blah.
Ric took the advantage for a while before the mystery woman who appeared at the start of the Pay-Per-View came to ringside. Flair resumed control for awhile, but Hogan began to stage a comeback. After missing his patented legdrop on Flair,a man dressed in black wearing a ski mask came to the ring (gee, who could THAT be?). Heenan thought it was Bischoff. Schiavone thought it was a goon from Nitro. The two continued to insult the fans intelligence as the "masked man" used the stungun on Ric Flair. Hogan rolled over for the cover. One, two, three.
The masked man celebrated in the ring with Hogan and the blonde woman. As it became apparent to the announcers that this masked man is the unseen man in the blonde's Nitro segments. She removed the man's mask to show the face we all knew would cost Flair the title ... David Flair. Where will they go with this angle? Well, as The Rock would say, who gives a monkey's ass!
WCW's attempt at a surprise ending is also nothing short of pathetic, as every member of this staff, as well as every newsboard on the internet predicted EXACTLY how this match would end, scene by scene.
WINNER: "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan defeated Ric Flair via pinfall (screwjob)
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