The show opened with Tony Schiavone attempting to hype up the PPV with his broadcast colleagues. He stressed that the main event was a first blood match which means, in his own words, the first man to bleed loses the match. Bobby Heenan tried to tell us WCW had all the ingredients for a great PPV.

Mean Gene Okurlund announced that all of the WCW Uncensored matches were unsanctioned by the WCW. He then gave the hotline commercial. In this speech, he said that fans could call after the Pay-Per-View and get all the results from the matches. Why anyone watching this commercial (aired on the PPV itself) would want to do this, I have no idea.

A short black and white video package was shown running down the history between Kevin Nash and Rey Mysterio Jr.

**********************************
WCW WORLD CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT
BILLY KIDMAN vs. MIKEY WHIPWRECK
**********************************

Whipwreck came to the ring to a very loud chorus of boos. The announcers described him as being "a five year pro who's made a name for himself on the east coast". They made every attempt to pretend that the ECW never existed, and that this 25-year-old man graduated from the bush leauges. Kidman came out in the usual wife beater tank top and jean shorts. The former ECW Heavyweight Champion and current WCW Cruiserweight Champion circled the ring before hooking up.

Whipwreck dominated Kidman in the beginning of the match, using his speed, superior power and an excellent head scissor takedown to take control of his opponent. Kidman fought back with a dropkick and a splash from the top rope, but Whipwreck, with the help of some combination speed/power moves, quickly regained control. At one point, Whipwreck executed a leglock/headlock combination on Kidman, very similar to Super Crazy's move, but without the surfboard. He also introduced WCW to the reverse guillotine legdrop on the ropes.

Kidman evened the score after reversing a whip to the turnbuckle. With Whipwreck down, Kidman kicked his opponent in the gut (a'la Austin). Whipwreck turned it back to his favor shortly thereafter with a short powerbomb and a rear chinlock. After some time on the canvas, Kidman got his second wind and propelled Whipwreck to the outside.

With Whipwreck on the floor, Kidman executed a springboard from the top rope, nailing Whipwreck, but hurting his knees in the process. Whipwreck threw Kidman in the ring to go for a quick pin, but Kidman draped his leg over the bottom rope.

Kidman reversed a slingshot suplex, and quickly went to the top rope for his Shooting Star Press, but Whipwreck caught him, sending Kidman to the outside. Whipwreck went for a dive off the top rope to the outside, but met only the guardrail.

The two battled it out in the crowd, executing a series of impressive moves, before Whipwreck tossed Kidman into the ring. After a series of unsuccessful pinfall attempts, Mikey Whipwreck got frustrated. While Whipwreck was occupied by the fans insulting chant of "Mikey", Kidman rolled him up for a near fall. Whipwreck got his head back in the match quickly and took it to Kidman.

When going to the top rope, Whipwreck got caught by Kidman, but he had the presence of mind to toss Kidman off and land an impressive left handed lariat. After another unsuccessful pinfall attempt, Kidman executed a face buster. It didn't keep Whipwreck down long to come back with a belly-to-back suplex from the middle turnbuckle, but he still couldn't keep Kidman down for the three.

Kidman reversed an attempted powerbomb into a modified face buster to put Whipwreck down. He scurried to the top rope and quickly landed his Shooting Star Press before getting the three count victory. In a match dominated by Shipwreck (as Heenan called him, among other things), Billy Kidman kept his belt.

----------------------------------

Another black and white package was shown explaining the history between Stevie Ray and Vincent. This was highlighted by Ray calling Vincent a "rudy poo". It seems that even the low card guys cannot manage without ripping off the competition.

----------------------------------

A color package was shown, featuring clips of Ric Flair's interviews on audio, and welders building the cage on video. Pretty silly.

Vincent began the match getting in Stevie Ray's face and trash talking him. Stevie Ray answered with a series of power moves, flattening his underfed opponent. Vincent actually executed a few moves on the outside, but Stevie Ray beat him to a pulp out in the crowd.

As they made their way through the crowd, the two contestants ended up in a roped off section of the seating in the back of the crowd with chairs neatly lined up on the floor. Stevie Ray beat on him back there for awhile (not once using a chair, for some odd reason) before Vincent suckered the big man back into the ring, executing a few kicks and power moves.

It didn't take long for Stevie Ray to spring up and regain control. The two went back and forth in a match that would be considered boring by 80's standards. Both men were knocked to the ground for a while, at which time Horace Hogan ran to the ring to toss in the slapjack. Before exiting, he announced to the camera that he didn't care who knocked out who because he was the real leader. Vincent ended up with the weapon, only to be kicked in the gut to lose it. Stevie Ray then executed the slapjack (the finishing move, not the weapon) to get the three count. Extremely dull, especially considering that this was an attempt at a non-DQ hardcore match.

WINNER: Stevie Ray defeated Vincent via pinfall (Slapjack)

----------------------------------

Chris Jericho was shown at his WCW.COM interview. He said that Saturn was obssessed with looking like a moron, and that he was nothing more than a common streetwalker. As usual, great mic-work by Jericho.

Nash made his way to the ring, bad knees and all, flanked by Luger and Elizabeth. He did his "Wolfpac in the house" schtick before Mysterio came out, dressed as if he was going hunting in technicolor woods. The only thing worse than the match was the psuedo hip-hop entrance music of both wrestlers.

Mysterio ran into Nash with reckless abandon, but Nash laughed it off and tossed his much smaller opponent around like a rag doll. Mysterio battled back with a series of quick moves, knocking Nash to the outside. It didn't take Big Sexy long to put the match back under his control, sidestepping a Mysterio dive and tossing the young man back into the ring for more punishment.

The seal beating continued, as Nash pounded on Mysterio in and out of the ring. Mysterio was helpless as Nash dropped his knee across Rey's throat. Shortly thereafter, Mysterio was on the recieving end of an 8 foot atomic drop. Mysterio gained his composure for a short time, coming back with a kick to the groin and a bronco-buster in the corner (yet another WWF ripoff).

Mysterio was tripped by Luger on the outside giving Nash the opening to end this "match". The win streak was soon to come to a close, as Nash drops Mysterio with a boot to the face and a Jacknife powerbomb to take the three count win.

WINNER: Kevin Nash defeated Rey Mysterio, Jr. via pinfall (Jack Knife Powerbomb)

---------------------------------

The three former ECW World Champions (Raven, Hak, and Bam Bam Bigelow) did a package about their upcoming triple threat match. It was obvious that the men weren't allowed to mention the promotion that made them stars (in Raven and Sandman... er..."Hak's" case). You could already see that this match was going to be a sanatized version of your average everyday ECW match or WWF Hardcore match.

This match was about as good as you expected it to be. Jerry Flynn came to the ring first, looking like a lost puppy in a PPV. Sonny Onoo and The Cat (in The Hat, as Tenay dubbed him) came to the ring next to a ring entrance almost identical to Flash Funk (Scorpio) when he first entered the WWF. The Cat wore a Silver King style hat as he and his manager came to the ring in blacklight. After a poor attempt at dancing, Flynn jumped The Cat from behind to get this PPV filler started.

To make a long, very boring story short, the two WCW Saturday Night jobbers got it on, going back and forth while the most pointless manager in the history of wrestling stand on the apron dressed in a white Karate gui. After a very boring contest, The Cat was whipped to the turnbuckle, accidentally tagging Sonny Onoo and, in the process, nailing him in the stomach. Flynn quickly covered Onoo for the victory...finally.

WINNER: Jerry Flynn defeated Sonny Onoo (& The Cat) via pinfall

---------------------------------

Another package was shown,this time featuring the two most uncharasmatic wrestlers (Benoit & Malenko) whine about being cheated out of the tag team titles (gee, I remember Malenko and Beniot jumping the gun on the 30 second break between falls on the last PPV, so it would appear that they screwed themselves). The Horsemen played with belts like a step- father about to issue punishment. Windham and Hennig claimed that the only belts to touch their skin will be the title belts.

Bam Bam mosied his way down to the ring first. "Hak" came next with Mongo's music playing, covered in barbed wire and carrying the Singapore Cane. Raven was the last to make his way to the ring with his sister, Chastity.

The match began with Bigelow and Raven double teaming Hak. his alliance lasted all of 3 seconds, as Bigalow turned to knock Raven to the canvas. Chastity pushed a cart full of weapons to the ring (including garbage cans, an ironing board and a mailbox). Raven quickly slid out to take advantage of these weapons, nailing his opponents. Hak was extremely lame with his very poor cries of pain...the worst acting I've ever seen by The Sandman.

The three battled it out with every weapon in the ring. Hak and Raven executed a few drop toe holds into garbage cans on each other. The ironing board was also a weapon of choice, as they used it until it completely fell apart. Raven set some garbage cans by the turnbuckle only to get whiped into it by Bam Bam. Hak then rose to his feet nailing Bigelow with a box fan.

It would take pages to go through this one move by move. Raven was obviously the fan favorite, drawing the most ammount of cheers. The fans did what WCW would not by chanting "ECW". Schiavone came out with some of his dumbest lines yet, saying that this match was the craziest in wrestling history.

Hak dragged out a table from under the ring. He was soon after power- bombed into the same table and splashed through it courtesy of The Beast From The East. While Raven and Bam Bam Bigelow battled it out, Hak gained posession of his cane and cleaned house. Chastity stood in front of Raven to protect him, but Raven moved her aside and took the hit to save his sister. Meanwhile, Bigelow drug out yet another table, which he was whiped into shortly thereafter. Raven executed the Even Flow on Hak before taping his arms behind his back and nailing him with four chair shots directly to Hak's head.

Bigelow spent all this time recovering, and he slipped the occupied Raven into Greetings From Asburry Park. While Bigelow was on the top rope looking to moonsault Raven,Chastity popped out of her cart spraying Bam Bam with the fire extinguisher, sending the big man through another table. This left Raven and Hak to battle it out. As Raven stood over a downed Hak, Chastity entered the ring with her fire extinguiser, turned it on Raven, sprayed her brother in the face knocking him down, and followed it all up with a headbut to the groin. Hak rolled over to cover Raven for the three count. Chastity and Hak left the ring together. The only match of the night worthy of being on a Pay-Per-View.

WINNER: Hak defeated Raven and Bam Bam after pinning Raven

The lumberjacks made their way to the ring first. They included most of the WCW Saturday Night cast: Norman Smiley, Chris Adams, Prince Iaukea, Hugh Morrus, Kendall Windham, Kenny Kaos, Bobby Duncam Jr, and Meng.

The Horsemen came out first to a minimum of cheers. Hennig and Windham came out next, recieving some cheers but no noticable boo's. Before the match actually got started, Arn "The Toolman" Anderson made his way to the ring, whispered something to Chris Adams, and stayed at ringside as a lumberjack while Adams left. On a side note, something tells me that Arn knows that his best booking was as one half of the Brain Busters. Never was there more of an overrated talentless piece of meat than Arn Anderson.

Anyway, back to the match. It started (and stayed) very slow. A fairly loud "Benoit sucks" chant could be heard as he and Barry Windham nail each other in the corner. This match pretty much sucked (as do all of WCW's tag team matches), so I'll sum it up as quickly as possible. The two battled slow and dull with the only high points being the fact that whenever a wrestler was on the floor out of the ring, he was whipped with straps by the lumberjacks until he got back in.

This very long, boring, slow contest (I actually fell asleep during it, but I learned that I missed nothing when I watched the tape). The end finall came with Hennig nailing Benoit and Anderson with a belt wrapped around his fist. Anderson retaliated by nailing Hennig in the back of the head with a tire iron. Meanwhile, Malenko has a belt wrapped around the neck of Windham keeping him outside the ring. Benoit went to the top rope to execute a flying headbutt on the near unconscious Hennig, taking the three count victory and the tag team titles.

WINNER: Chris Beniot (& Dean Malenko) defeated Curt Hennig (& Barry Windham) via pinfall (tire iron/flying headbut) to win the WCW World Tag Team Titles.

Jericho came to the ring first, escorted by his bodyguard Ralphus. Soon after, Saturn came to the ring wearing a chain dress over a gothic black dress with green contacts and makeup. Schiavone said that Marilyn Manson's jaw must have dropped upon seeing Saturn. While I think he was just venting his ignorance, he did touch upon a little bit of truth. I am sure Manson's jaw did drop when he heard the blatant ripoff of his song , The Beautiful People, as ring entrance music. There is no limit to what WCW will rip off. Well, what else could you expect from a Ted Turner company.

Jericho told "Rue Perry" (Saturn) that he would indeed have his dog collar match, and instructed Ralphus to wear the collar. Ralphus refused, and was prompyly slapped by Jericho and ordered to go to the back. Before leaving, Jericho took his mouthpiece from his overweight head of security. They both got into the ring soon after to a chorus of boo's.

Jericho refused to put on the dog collar, so Saturn gave him a belly to belly suplex. While on the floor, Saturn hooked Jericho to the collar. After an unsucessful excape attempt by Jericho, the match got underway.

The two men used basic dog collar strategy (as used so much in everyday life, as Heenan pointed out), whipping each other into the guardrails, strangeling each other, hangings, etc...

After Jericho dominated for awhile, he put Saturn in the Liontamer, but the chain was around the neck of Jericho, so Chris was being choked as he had the move on. It didn't take long for Jericho to fall to the mat, releasing the Lion Tamer and gasping for air. As the two men rose to their feet, Saturn put Jericho into the Death Valley Driver onto the chain. Saturn went for the pin, but Jericho kicked out. Jericho then reversed an attempted Frankensteiner by holding onto the chain.

Jericho took the chain off of Saturn and wrapped it around his body. He then went to the top rop e for a Lionsault. Saturn tried to move, but Jericho connected with Saturn(this was an obvious accident in the match, as Saturn couldn't move in time). Jericho went for an unsuccessful pin and then slammed his opponent. Still covered in chain, Jericho went to the top rope for a second Lionsault. This time, Saturn got out of the way in time and picked Jericho up to slap him into another DVD. After Jericho hit the mat, Saturn took the three count pinfall victory.

On a side note, the chain seemed much louder than it should have. It also seemed to make noise even when not moving. Something tells me that WCW inserted some good old fashioned fake chain noise into the camera.

WINNER: Saturn defeated Chris Jericho via pinfall (Death Valley Driver)

---------------------------------

Mikey Whipwreck was shown in a post match interview on WCW.COM. He was as uncharismatic as he's always been. They talked about how great Kidman was and how they think WCW is the major leauges.

Buff Bagwell escorted Scott Steiner, who's obviously had his steriod "hook up", to the ring. Booker T came out next to his ridiculose music.

Before the match, Steiner threw his belt to the ground like a piece of garbage. Buff spent a little while telling Big Poppa Pump how great he was before he entered the ring to face his opponent.

All in all, a match worthy of Nitro, but not ppv status. The match went back and forth for awhile with no man having the clear advantage for the most part. At one point, Buff Bagwell beat on Booker T on the outside with the ref clearly looking on (I guess that's no longer a DQ). Steiner nailed him with a chair in the crowd before dragging him back and throwing him into the ring.

Scott Steiner took control of the match for awhile, largely due to the numerous incidents of interference by Buff Bagwell on the outside. Scott Steiner held Booker T up with ease in a bodyslam before dropping him to the canvas. After a series of high impact moves and unsuccessful pinfall attempts, Booker T got out of a rear chinlock to mount a small offense. Again, thanks to Bagwell on the outside with a cable, Steiner regained control.

Booker again regained momentum, reversing the lariot and landing several kicks. Shortly after landing the axe kick, Booker did his breakdance spinup. He went for a Harlem Sidekick, missing Steiner and going right over the ref's head before hitting the mark with a second one on Scott. He then went to the top rope, seemingly to execute his Harlem Hangover, but Buff again (in front of the ref) interfered, knocking Booker T to a seated position on the turnbuckle. Steiner took advantage and executed a superplex to the stunned Booker T. After a motion by Steiner, Buff Bagwell entered the ring with a steel chair. Buff went to nail Booker T with the chair, but Booker dropped to his knees & the chair accidentally met Steiner, again in front of the ref. Ah, hell, the angles are never consistant. Why should the rules be? Anyway, Booker kicked the chair into Buff's face and quickly got the three count on Steiner to become the new WCW Television champion.

WINNER: Booker T defeated Scott Steiner by pinfall (chairshot) to become the new WCW World Television Title.

---------------------------------

A package was shown with welders building a cage.

Before Hogan came out, Flair told the crowd and the referee that the match would not be stopped for a scratch on his elbow or a little blood from Hogan's lip. In his own words, 1st blood, no scratches.

Heenan said that it would look like St. Valentine's Day Massacre. WCW could only WISH they could put on a PPV as good as WWF's St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

Hogan then made his way to the ring. Buffer completed his introduction, and the cage was lowered on Hogan, Flair and the ref.

The match started out slowly, in 80's fashion. A "Hogan" chant erupted at about the one minute mark. Hogan executes a few clotheslines, back body drops, bodyslams, and other 80's moves to keep Flair down. Hogan choked Flair and choped him in the corner for a while.

Hogan did his old Hulkster-style hand to the ear for crowd approval as he beat the hell out of Flair. After being slammed against the cage wall, Flair tried to escape the cage, and his pants were pulled down by Hogan.

At exactly six minutes from the bell (I timed it), you can clearly see that Flair's face is busted wide open, and Schiavone himself stated that a cut opened over Flair's eye (not a scratch, a busted open gash). WCW obviously did not count on the fact that out of shape 50-year-old men will bleed fairly easily when punched and slamed against a cage wall. At around the same time, a fan tossed a roll of toilet paper into the cage right where Hogan and Flair stood. I felt this was rather appropriate, as this match was nothing but shit.

Hulk Hogan pulled the barbed wire down by the turnbuckle before rubbing Flair's face in it, afterwhich, Hogan removed his belt to whip the now blood covered Ric Flair. Hogan slammed Flair's face against the cage with a loud chant of "Hogan" erupting from the crowd. At this point, Schiavone had the following to say about the first blood stipulation: "Let's forget about that now...the match is obviously going on and Hogan doesn't mind". Weak! Weak and lame!

Hulk Hogan gave the big boot kick to Flair. He followed it up with his patented legdrop, and made the cover for what could have been a 7 count. The ref didn't move. The announcers justified this by saying that this pinfall was insignifigant because this was a first blood match. Bear in mind, Flair's face and hair are a bright red with blood POURING out, but I guess that's insignifigant, too. At this point, I'm wondering if the Bret Hart Survivor Series screwjob is being re-enacted on WCW, but I quickly dismissed that theory in favor of the obvious solution...WCW SCREWED UP AND THEY HAD NO IDEA ON EARTH HOW TO FIX IT. THEY COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED THEMSELVES!!!

Heenan tried to justify all of this by saying that the ref has always idolized Flair all of a sudden, and felt that Flair had more fight left in him (who cares...the match stipulation wasn't that they fight until one doesn't have any fight left in them...IT WAS A FIRST BLOOD, NOT A LAST MAN STANDING OR A ONE FALL BOUT!!!). At this point, Flair pulled some foreign object from his kneepad and nailed Hogan.

A stumbeling, beaten Flair (who has already lost the match via pinfall AND first blood) beat on Hogan while fans chanted the Hulkster's name. David Flair and his girlfriend made their way to ringside to cheer for Hogan. Ric spit on his son and told him that he would be the 14-time world champion. He went back to his fight to Hogan, only to find that the Hulkster has returned to his old self.

Hogan started "Hulking up". Everytime Flair hit him, Hogan got stronger and became invincible. He gave Flair another big boot and another leg- drop, and another pin for what could have been an 8 count. The ref counted one (after about 6 seconds), Flair kicked out, and Tenay reminded us again that this is a first blood match. I then realized that no one in WCW knew what the hell to do. Not Hogan, not Flair, not the announce team, not the ref...NOONE! It's obvious that the match was meant to end with Hogan bleeding first, but they F*CKED UP and didn't know how to fix it! The blank look on the ref's face when Hogan went for the pin after the second legdrop tells volumes. No one knew how to end this match!

Flair suplexed Hogan, but Hogan was still "Hulking up". Flair was on his knees. Hogan picked him up and rammed his face into the cage a few times. The ref screamed "What are ya doing?" (and I'll bet he didn't really know). Hogan got in the face of the ref, and picked Flair up for a bodyslam. Flair slithered out and pushed Hogan into the ref, knocking the referee out. David Flair cheered Hogan, telling him to Hulk up.

Arn Anderson ran to the ring to beat the hell out of David Flair. David's girlfriend jumped on Arn's back, but Arn shrugged her off. Arn then passed the tire iron to Flair, who used it to knock out Hogan. He slapped the Figure Four on Hogan, and the referee made a quick three count for the win and the title. Funny that Tenay didn't remind us that is was a first blood match on that occasion. A bloodied (and I mean VERY bloodied) Flair left with the belt when the cage rose. David Flair and his girlfriend entered to help Hulk, and the PPV was over (THANK GOD!!!)

Isn't it funny that practically everyone on the net predicted the Flair heel turn and Hogan face turn beginning in this match! WCW's biggest surprise of the year was not only EXTREMELY poorly done, but everyone knew about it anyway! Obviously, a mark of amateurs who cannot put on a superior show. Any REAL wrestling fan can clearly see what an absolute joke this main event was. I cannot stress enough how much of an embarrasment to wrestling that this main event was. It sends a message that they think their fans are stupid, and therefore they won't mind if the storyline doesn't remain AT ALL consistant or that the wrestlers screw up the main event beyond repair. Plain and simple, WCW is shit. It is a very poorly produced, poorly written, poorly acted show with no idea whatsoever of what the fans really want. WCW has NOTHING left. They are garbage. This has got to be the most embarrassing moment in wrestling on television since it's inception.

WINNER: Ric Flar defeated "Hollywood" Hogan via pinfall (screwjob)

back to ppv section
back to main index

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page